Growing secrets
by Veilwuarrah
Summary: Struggling with a worsening illness, while trying to keep Arthur from being lured out of Camelot by some mysterious guests, Merlin realizes through his hallucinations, that he might be in for more then he can handle alone. (Is Camelot really haunted or only he is?) Between S04E02-03(whump, mystery, slow buildup, dark)
1. Chapter 1

Gaius woke to the sound or rustling. He opened an eye, however, couldn't see anything in the darkness, but the more attention he paid the more he realized that something was moving in the night.

'_I hope it's not rats again'_ – he thought to himself a bit annoyed, thinking of the herbs he had Merlin gather; would be such a waste if the rodent got to them.

He then heard muffed coughs.

And they weren't coming from the young warlock's room.

It became clear that it's not a rat, that's making the noises; there is someone in his chamber. The old man lifted his head a bit and tried to make out where exactly the sounds are coming from. He saw a thin silhouette crouching over the table near the wall, and once again there was coughing and the dark figure seemingly held both hands to his face to muff the sound as much as possible.

"Merlin?" – the physician suddenly spoke.

"Gaius!" – jumped the young man frightened, knocking something over; then he exhaled. – "I'm.. sorry I woke you.." – he muttered as he tried to set straight whatever he had messed up on the table.

"It's the middle of the night, Merlin.. What are you doing?" – Gaius sat up and a candle was lit so he can see the boy, in the same time relieved that it's neither a rat, nor an intruder.

"I.. erm.. I was looking for.." – the lad turned to the table, as if the answer was laying somewhere between the many pots and vials, but he wasn't sure what he was looking for. Scratching the back of his head he turned back to his guardian with an apologetic smile.. – "You remember a few days ago, you gave some medicine to a child in the lower town? He was coughing a lot.."

"Ah yes.." – Gaius nodded once he realized what the boy has been after. – "But it's not there. It's on that other shelf." – He said, and sluggishly got out of the comfort of his bed to go look for the right potion. – "Here, hold this for me." – he said and handed the candle to young man as he made his way to the other end of the room.

Merlin followed, lighting the shelf as the old man looked for the right bottle.

Once again there was coughing and the candlelight shimmered. Gaius stopped for a moment to listen then turned to face the young warlock, who looked at him curiously. He then reached again to the shelf and took down a rather dark bottle.

"Here it is." – he said, and made his way back to the table to get a cup. – "It sounds as if it has gotten worse."

"Oh… no. Just that Arthur wanted to go hunting yesterday and I was running a lot.." – the lad explained. – "I'm sure it will pass." – he added, trying to convince himself as much as the old man. He didn't want him to worry, but it was giving him a hard time.

Gaius poured some of the liquid in a small metal cup and handed it to him. The young man emptied it, then grimaced.

_"Oah_!… it tastes _weird_!" – but he felt a soothing effect immediately wash over his aching chest.

"What's important, is that it works." – said Gaius, while he made sure to close off the bottle well with it's cork and set it on the table amongst the rest.

"It does.." – the warlock agreed with a relieved smile. – "Thanks Gaius! Good night!"

"Hold on!" – the old man called after him motioning with his hand and taking a few steps towards him and the young man turned back. – "Lift your shirt."

Merlin knew what was coming and even if he felt reluctant, he did as asked, turning around and lifting his shirt up to the back of his neck

"Breathe." – said Gaius, once his ear came close to Merlin's back – And he obediently did. - "Again."– and so he did again. - "Any pain?" - Merlin hesitated - "A little.." - came the quiet reply.

"I'd suggest some other activities, then hunting to pass time for a little while; if you don't want it to get more serious." – he said after pulling back.

"You know how Arthur is.." – Merlin smirked bitterly while tucking his shirt in.

"I know, but it's _your_ health, and I'm sure he's reasonable enough to understand, but only if you _tell_ him."

The young man nodded silently.

"Now off you go! There's still something left of the night, we should spend it with sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow!"

The candle went out and once again silence fell on the court physician's chamber. Silence - that is, if one doesn't count the snoring of an old man.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Do this, Merlin! Do that, Merlin!" –_ he muttered to himself annoyed as he was heading back to Gaius's chamber, after he finished his chores for his '_royalness_'.

The day had barley begun and he was already feeling tired - _and_ annoyed.

The physician gave him some different medicine in the morning for the coughing _("Here! Drink this!" - and he woke to Gaius holding a cup in front of a very sleepy warlock.);_ and it made him feel distracted and drowsy, which made it hard to do the things Arthur demanded, not to mention how he behaved whenever he, Merlin was like this, thinking the second part made it more unbearable then the actual drowsiness. Sure he was under a lot of pressure, but it was no reason to take it out on his manservant! - But at least he wasn't fighting for a breath of air every other minute. - the young warlock tried to compensate himself.

"How are you feeling?" – the old man inquired, taking only a glimpse of him as he walked in, focusing on the two vials raised to eye level, carefully pouring the content of one into the other.

"Feel like I could sleep for the rest of the week." – came the answer with a sigh and he set a bag down on the table. Inside were some ingredients and a special salt, Gaius asked him to pick up _"on the way"_, but it became the perfect excuse to get away from the smelly stables, even if it was just for a little while. He stretched, and started unpacking it and held the glass with the salt up to the light to observe it better. It was colorful and the light played on it as the young warlock lifted it towards the sun, displaying various colors. He found it most interesting for some odd reason; for a second wondering what exactly did Gaius _put_ in that medicine.

"You know, I was thinking about that lake you mentioned." – continued Gaius, once he set aside the vials and walked to the boy.

Merlin looked confused for a moment.

"That frozen lake, you and Arthur fell in, during that journey a couple of days ago."

"What about it?" – he asked and went back to looking at the salt crystals as he turned the jar slowly.

"It sounded familiar, but I didn't know where to place it. That is until I came across something in a book. It's said that long time ago some followers of the Old Religion would gather by that lake for certain rituals. Mind you, they weren't the good kind."

The young warlock looked at him with interest and set the jar down on the table.

"What are you saying? You think there was something there?"

"I'm not entirely sure.. but, did you feel or notice anything? Any presence?"

"Uhm.. no." – the young man thought for a moment. - "Nothing like that.. well, it was very cold. _Extremely cold_."

"What exactly happened?" – the old man pressed on.

"Well.. Arthur thought he saw something on the lake and wanted to check it out. It turned out to be an old boat frozen into the water. I don't even know why he wanted to see that thing. Then we headed back.. After the ice cracked we tried to get away as fast as we could. We were almost at the shore, but then Arthur fell in. I tried to pull him out. I lay down on the ice, but his cape got wet and was pulling him under, and I couldn't hold him, then the ice cracked under me and we were both in the water. I heard the others yelling, then there was a rope.. or a branch or something.. and .. it's blurry after that. I remember, that Percival pulled Arthur out, and Gwaine grabbed my arm. I don't remember what happened after that. When I woke up, I was laying on the ground, next to Arthur covered with capes and blankets and we were shaking and he was still unconscious.. It was _very_ cold. The others were gathering firewood so I used magic so we could warm up. I made the blanket heat us up. _None_ saw it! I swear!" – he added once seeing Gaius' un-approving expression, knowing what he thinks about using magic in front of others. - "Then.. I fell asleep again, I suppose. We came back to Camelot the next day." – Merlin remembered the ordeal and he felt a shiver run through him, just thinking of that cold. – "Why? Do you think there was something in the water?"

"Can't be certain.. But we can't exclude the possibility of it."

"Well.. Arthur is fine" – he shrugged - "And we both were in the water."

"True.. Maybe it's just my imagination then." – said Gaius – "Maybe not everything is tied to magic that happens. No reason to start seeing ghosts where there probably aren't any." – and with that the physician picked up the new supplies and turned back to his work.

Merlin nodded, but it made him uneasy of what he learnt from his guardian. No matter how hard he focused on the memory he didn't remember seeing or sensing anything; and there was that blackout as well. Who knows what has happened while he was unconscious.

All of this was about three days ago, and his coughing persisted since then, slowly getting more intense and more painful. At times it felt like he had ember in his throat, and his lungs were on fire, and whenever a coughing seizure caught him, he would feel his chest and back ache in a way he never felt before. Breath hot, lips dry..

He kept on thinking about it; maybe there is some truth in it, that he didn't notice magic because of the shock of the cold, or.. Maybe this _really _was just a common illness, after all, he is only human, - a magical one, but still a human..


	3. Chapter 3

"I want to take a day off!" – Merlin announced; after much thinking on how to deliver the idea to Arthur; he decided to just plainly say it out loud after he finished making the bed and had gathered the clothes that needed washing.

"What on earth for?" – the prince gave him a stare and continued his breakfast.

"I have.. some things to take care of!" – he said, making up the excuse on the way, but he realized it came out a bit see-through.

"Right.." – the blonde chuckled, clearly not believing him.

"I do!" – the young man protested. – "You know I _do_ have a personal life, I'm not all about polishing your armor and washing your smelly clothes!"

Arthur laughed. It just seemed funny how he said it, but he stopped once he noticed a shade of hurt run through his servants' expression.

"Listen.. Merlin," – the prince said, after clearing his throat and setting down his cup on the table - "I have training with the knights, then there's a meeting I need to attend to, then inspection, and we need to prepare for the guests this evening. There are some _very important_ people coming to visit, to whom I'll need to give a _very_ long and _very_ boring speech. And since you've been out on a picnic the other day and put it off, my armor _still_ needs a polish."

"That wasn't a _picnic_! I was gathering herbs for Gaius in the _swamp_!" – came the outraged interruption.

"And did I mention the stables need your attention as well?" – the prince continued raising his voice slightly – "So as you see, I can't have you spending a day at the _tavern_, because there is work to be done." – Arthur explained with a forced smile, as if explaining something self-understood to a five year old.

"I am _always_ running after you!"

"You're my _servant_! You're supposed to be doing that."

"It's just one day!" – Merlin exclaimed almost begging.

"_Mer_lin!"

Merlin opened his mouth to say something, but then just shook his head and left.

"Merlin! I didn't say you could _leave_!" – Arthur shouted after him amused, but got no reply.

His smile slowly faded once he was alone again. He sighed and poked at his breakfast with his cutlery.

There were some busy days ahead of him all right; meetings; and travels; and discussions; and decisions to be made, that he couldn't put off. All of it was too much and too sudden, but he had no choice, Uther was in no condition to attend to any of it, but it had to be done.. And _he_ was the one that had to get them done. Back in the days he would help his father and the tasks of a king didn't seem all too hard. _He_ wasn't making the _harder_ decisions. But now he had to; and it seemed frightening at times.

Agravaine was there to help; however he often found his suggestions to be opposing as to what their goal was and what he believed and felt to be right; in a matter or another; and sometimes it just didn't add up in Arthur's mind. Not to mention the fact that his uncle could be so convincing, it was almost scary. But it still didn't seem right.. However, he couldn't be picky. He needed all the help he could get to manage the tasks and expectations towering over him.

Gwen was great comfort for his tired mind and body. Her words, her ideas, her kind embrace helped him greatly; but they had very little time for themselves, now that more and more duties fell on him.

He didn't want to admit it, but even if it annoyed him most of the time, Merlin always _demanding_ to be by his side whenever they went anywhere, gave him some sort of comfort. The kind he couldn't quite explain and it got him annoyed if he tried to.

But his incredible loyalty towards him was something that amazed even Arthur himself and he sometimes wondered why Merlin is like that.. not to mention the wisdom in his words whenever situations were grave and Arthur faced difficult decisions. _Such a puzzle that person is_..

He wondered for bit why his servant would've wanted a day off so badly. _'Should have asked..'_ – he thought, but then shook his head; Merlin didn't want to tell him in the first place.. which felt kind of bad.

He finished his breakfast and looked out through the window, not wanting to wonder about anything. The weather seemed inviting and fresh, tempting him for a walk; perhaps even as far as the _lower town.._

"Why not?" – he smiled.. There's still time until training.


	4. Chapter 4

**_O: _Alright! I have given up on trying to come up with a decent title for each chapter. Numbers will do.. for now. It saves me from sitting and staring dumb at the screen. :/**

**Thank you so much for the reads and favorites so far :) It really makes me happy to see such feedback! And I'm looking forward to more; reviews and all! In return I'll try to upload often as I can.. ****And here goes… ch 4**

**..**

Merlin was furious. He stormed across the halls muttering to himself in anger.

_What an arrogant ungrateful prat! _Oh, he will show him! He was too upset to even call him names anymore. But already he had more then one idea for revenge; starting with various rather _unfriendly_ chants, up to conspiring against Arthur's laundry. _Make him itch! _– he felt he owed as much to himself.

Took a turn and ran down the spiral staircase, heading towards Gaius's chamber with great zest, when it happened: he lost breath all of a sudden as if running to an airless wall; and had to grip onto a torch holder to steady himself as he started coughing loudly. He felt his back and chest burn with pain and along with the noises it felt like his throat was tearing itself up; the more he reached for it the more it seemed he was running out of breath. He dropped the clothes he held onto and staggered out of the small corridor to reach a window in the hallway for some fresh air to regain control over his struggling lungs.

His coughing echoed through the hallways and he held onto the windowsill until he started to calm down; worriedly thinking who might have heard all that noise he made. But for now he let himself focus on his breathing, the slight breeze rushing by the opening and the sunlight that reached his face.

Then he saw something small and gray move from the corner of his eye and quickly turned his head, but found nothing there.

"Are you alright?" – Merlin jumped in shock from the voice behind him.

"Easy easy!" – the man held his hands up – "I won't attack." – grinned Gwaine. - "Didn't mean to startle you."

Merlin tried to compose himself. Still breathing heavily and turned halfway away to wipe his face with the sleeve of his shirt, once he noticed he got teary-eyed from the coughing.

"What happened to you?" – asked the knight, furrowing his eyebrows while looking at the young warlock.

"I… uh.. I was eating while running down the stairs and it went the wrong way when I swallowed.." - Merlin explained in one breath. _Why_ is Gwaine here anyway? Didn't Arthur say there was training planned for the day? The pain in his throat was getting too bothersome and he just wanted to make it vanish somehow. But his friend just stood there eyeing him, as if trying to read in his gestures. He stared back slightly tilting his head.

"Don't you have training this morning?" - he asked.

"Figured I'd let them warm up .." - replied the knight with a smirk - "What were you eating? Arthur's socks?" - Gwaine pointed to the servants shoulder.

"No!" – he snapped back and angrily grabbed the piece of clothing that somehow managed to remain on his shoulder throughout his ordeal – "_What_? It never happened to you?"

"Oh it did, but I was just wondering if I looked as pale then as you do now."

Merlin stared at him, lips sealed tightly in a slight annoyance, not saying anything. _How does Gwaine do that?_ He always _does_ that. It seems impossible to hide _anything_ from him.

"I was chocking on a piece of bread. I can't exactly look all cheery and colorful!" - Merlin clamored – "I have to go now!" - and with that he stormed off.

Gwaine looked after him in amazement as the young man marched along the corridor.

"Arthur.." – he mumbled and nodded to himself with the deepest understanding. – _Who else could upset him like that? _He turned around to head the armory, when he spotted the stairs littered with clothes and looked at them slightly amused.

"_Merlin!_ I think you lost something!" – he yelled in the direction the servant ran off to.


	5. Chapter 5

**_O: _ Wow, this took a bit longer then expected.. Slightly longer chapter too :) Hope you like it!~ More to come! And looking forward to reviews! ;)**

..

..

The young warlock came through the wooden door with a burst and was heading straight towards his room. Gaius peered out from behind the screen, curious of who the hurried and noisy visitor is, while still holding a pot; and was about to say something, seeing it's his ward, but rather he just stared at the lad.

"I know that face".. – he stated eventually with concern, peeking at the young man, as Merlin passed by him. – "What happened?"

Merlin stopped and turned around, tilting his head.

"Nothing! I have a day off!" – he exclaimed with a maniacal grin and waved his arms; then sharply turned away again.

"Does Arthur know?" – Gaius called after him with suspicion.

"Oh, he will find out soon enough!" – came the reply already from the small staircase.

"Oh dear.." – Gaius looked for a place to put the pot down.

..

..

The physician pushed the door in slowly, not sure what to expect.

He heard muttering and pacing; then coughs, then silence.

Merlin lay on his back on his bed folding his arm to cover his eyes. A small cough escaped his lips every now and then. He was gripping onto something with his other hand, that rested on his stomach now. He didn't move.

Gaius exhaled, he knew something must've upset him to behave like that, but he didn't know how to approach the boy. Sometimes he wondered how his mother could handle him, in his more _berserk moments_.

"What's the matter?" – he asked slowly as he sat on the side of the bed.

"Nothing." - the young man replied briefly.

"What happened, Merlin?"

"Nothing.." – he said a bit more softly and coughed. There wasn't really anything to say, and as dizzy as he felt, he didn't even want to invest energy in saying the same things all over again. – "_Nothing new."_

"I brought you _this_" – the physician said, motioning to a small cup in his hand. Merlin lifted his arm slightly, peering at his guardian.

His chest was burning as if he'd swallowed a kitchen fire whole. He sat up to accept the relieving liquid and met the old man's eyes.

"Just.. Arthur.." – he mumbled shaking his head and looked away. He felt a little ashamed for storming in like he had; Took a sip of the odd tasting potion before speaking again. "Sometimes.. " – he spoke quietly with a frown – "Sometimes it seems he is changing. Changing into that great king he will one day be; but other times he is the same. The same arrogant, overbearing prat.." – he sighed staring at the medicine for a bit. _Gosh, it tasted horrible._

"Give it time.." – Gaius said. - "There's a lot of pressure on him now, but he still is the Arthur you know and trust." - There wasn't really anything more he could say. He knew all too well of these confrontations, they were almost of daily occurrence.

Merlin perked up staring into the corner of his room with a serious expression. The old man followed his glance.

"What is it?" he asked, when all he saw were some notes and few of Merlin's clothes thrown in a messy pile.

"I thought I saw something move.."

"For your sake I hope its not a rat…" – Gaius said and stood to stir the pile, but found nothing else but the clothes and paper. "Who knows, maybe they have a nest somewhere in here. Id suggest you _attempt_ to clean your room once in a while, just in case.." – he turned back to his ward with a reproachful glare. The boy rolled his eyes, but had a smirk on and sipped the last of the liquid from the cup.

"Merlin, what's that in your hand?" – Gaius asked then, noticing the piece of cloth the young man was holding onto all this time.

Merlin lifted his hand to look at it while he swallowed the medicine.- "A sock.." – he said thoughtfully, then realization hit him. He gasped with panic and jumped to make a run for it.

_"I have to go now, Gaius!"_ - He yelled, already from the other room, slamming the cup down on the table on his way out of the chambers and stormed off, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

Gaius stared after him confused, but then sighed with resignation, figuring he will hear of it sooner or later anyway._ Whatever it is. Was. Will be._

_.._

_.._

_No. No. Noo _His heart was pounding in his chest as he retraced his steps to where he remembered dropping the laundry.

The staircase was _empty._

It took Merlin a few moments to take in this information.

He looked around frantically. He had to think of something! _If Arthur finds out.. _He shook his head and turned around._ No-No!_ _It can't get to that!_ He tried to think, peering over the hallway as if expecting to spot the clothes in some corner or they'd jump out at him from behind one of the pillars; of course that didn't happen; there were no sign of them..

_Gwaine!_ – _Nah.._ He couldn't have taken the clothes. He would have no use for them… unless… - he admitted, that snatching up forgotten-about clothes of the prince would serve as a fine prank, in the knight's opinion. But since he will be on the suffering end of this, once Arthur finds out, - _but he won't! _- it just didn't seem that funny from Merlin's perspective. However, it was the only lead he had, so he turned to go look for Gwaine.

..

..

"Guinevere.." – Arthur smiled with surprise as he spotted her in the hallway and stopped.

"Arthur.." – she smiled widely when she noticed him.

"Didn't expect to see you here. How are…" – he paused catching view of a familiar bunch in her arms. - "Are those my clothes?"

"Uhm..Yes!" – Gwen said surprised and looked down at the laundry – "Very strange. I found them scattered around on a staircase."

_"What?" –_ Arthur looked at her confused. Then anger started building in the young man, as he remembered his servant taking those clothes to be washed; a very _upset_ servant for not getting permission for a day off. His anger started to build even more and thoughts started flying. _But what if something happened to him? Though what could possibly happen to that bumbling fool? _

Before he could think any further, said fool appeared from behind a corner and stared at them, then the heap of clothes in Gwens arms.

_"Oh!" – _he exhaled in great relief, even bending down and steadying himself on his knees for a moment to catch his breath, before he headed their way; then realized Arthur was there too.

"_Mer_lin. You. Idiot.. W_hat_ were my clothes doing on the stairs?" – Arthur hissed between his teeth, it took him some effort to temper himself; while his manservant took the the messy pile from Gwen.

"I uhm.. forgot about them." – he quickly realized it was the worse possible answer he could have given. Arthur was already opening his mouth to shower him with more insults. He obviously wasn't happy. – "I… I dropped them, I got.. attacked!"

"Attacked? By who?"

Merlin shook and put on a straight face and looked passed between the two wide-eyed to the other end of the corridor. Seeing his attentive expression, both Gwen and Arthur turned and looked in that direction, but saw nothing besides a few torch holders and decoration on the wall.

"_What_ now?"

"I saw something…gray.." – he muttered somewhat worriedly. _What was going on..?_

"Merlin! "

"Maybe it's a rat!" – he snapped back to his current situation gripping onto the stack in his arms– "I need to go catch it!" – and he stormed off before anything else could be said.

Arthur stared after him in complete astonishment.

"I think I worry about him sometimes.." – Gwen said quietly and they exchanged glances with the prince.


	6. Chapter 6

He had gripped onto the wall-hanging and nearly pulled it on himself. Even his grip was giving up. He was on his knees already, and clothes were scattered once again on the corridor. He just couldn't stop.

_That damn coughing._

He had ran across the hallway and spotting that mousy '_whatever-it-was', _he marched right after it. After the next turn he felt something in his throat again, catching glimpse of the gray glimmer, and from there on he's been just desperately fighting for air.

It felt like each effort was ripping into his very flesh; his body painfully protesting against the strain and the lack of air. And there was just no end to it.

_This is it.._- the thought crossed his mind. The all and mighty warlock, the prophecies speak of; the last of the dragon lords will end his life in a dark corner of Camelot in the company of the prince's laundry. Chocking.

The sides of his sight began to darken, his senses to dull, his head was spinning. He really had no air; or just couldn't have his lungs pull in enough of it. His throat felt like heated metal, and he felt too weak for any more movement. He couldn't even think of any spells to help himself. He wouldn't have cared if anyone saw it now. But there was nothing.

"_Merlin?"_ – someone called him from the distance and he felt his arm being grabbed and pulled up, but the darkness sank into his mind and even the flickering torch went out.

..

..

_Merlin! - _Someone was calling to him.

He felt the cold stone floor under his back and his surroundings started to come back to his mind. Upon opening his eyes he saw a silhouette crouching over him; that slowly started to clear and turned into Sir Leon; looking at the boy with concern.

He took a deep breath and gripped his neck, as if trying to ease some of that ache. His lungs were still hurting so much. He pulled himself up to his elbows and took another deep breath. _Oh sweet air.._

"Are you alright? What happened?" – Leon asked.

He tried to think of what to say to his question, "Coughing.." – he replied quietly, and focused on his breath. Then he remembered something and turned hastily as he lay and peered back and forth at all sides of the dim hallway, as if looking for something.

"What is it?" – the knight looked as well, however not sure what he was supposed to be looking at. The hallway was empty, save for the torches, a few shields put up as ornament and wall-hangings baring the gold dragon.

"I thought I saw something.." – he mumbled and struggled to his feet, grateful for the man's help to do so.

"What?"

"Probably just a rat.." – he sighed with resignation – "Have _you_ seen anything?" – he took a careful glimpse at him.

"No.." - Leon shook his head still looking around. - "Better get some traps set before it gets to anything.." Merlin agreed, but had a bad feeling about _"the rat"._

"And you should get Gaius take a look at you. That cough sounds nasty.." – Leon added looking at the servant. Merlin nodded; his mind obviously someplace else. He felt light headed and put a hand on the wall next to him - just in case.

"Thanks.." – he muttered scratching the back of his head, forced a quick smile and looked which way to go. – "I'll go right away"

"Will you be alright?"

"Yea.." – the boy nodded convincingly.

"What did you eat this time?" – cut in a familiar voice and they turned to see the arriving Gwaine.

"The other pair of the sock, obviously." – the boy snapped at him and the man laughed. Leon figured it's probably a jest he missed.

"Merlin here just likes to be noisy about his eating habits. Coughing and such." - the man turned to his fellow knight and gave the servant a slight slap on the back, which made Merlin flinch a bit, but covered up his discomfort with a forced snarl-like grin.

"Sounds like you after one too many drinks." - Leon laughed.

"Hey I take offence!" - he snapped at the other two chuckling.

"You know, Arthur probably won't be happy if you keep leaving his stuff behind." – the knight turned Merlin, and the boy remembered the laundry and started to gather the clothes, though leaning down didn't feel too well at first. The two nights continued to talk.

"I'm heading to the training area. Arthur said there will be some new recruits. You coming?"

"You head on, I'll join you in a minute" – Gwaine said and leaned down to help his friend pick up the clothes.

"Alright. See you later." – Leon nodded and went on his way.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" – Gwaine said bluntly after some time since Merlin was silent.

"No.. Nothing's going on" – he replied a little too quickly – "Just.. coughing a lot. " – he said quietly and glanced at the knight. Their eyes met and Merlin had a feeling his friend was not going to believe him. He cursed to himself for letting suspicions rise in Gwaine; that usually resulted in a lot of questioning and nagging, because the knight just never could let go of a topic until it was discussed.

"And?" – he pressed on accordingly.

"Nothing.. just. Coughing. And tired." – he said again. - "Do you have any idea just how many things I have to do for Arthur?" – he tried to talk himself out of it. Gwaine looked at him. He knew he wasn't going to get Merlin talking; but couldn't help not to notice he looked a bit more shaken up then at their previous encounter.

"Will you be alright?"

"Yes! Of course." – he forced smile, getting slightly irked why people keep asking him that question. - "I'm going to check by Gaius before I wash these.." – he added motioning to the pile of laundry and hoped, that the knight will leave it at that, he nodded and started walking off.

"Merlin.."

"Yes?"

"Gaius. Is _tha_t way.." – Gwaine pointed and watched the young warlock nod again and change direction.

"Right."


	7. Chapter 7

Gaius looked at him with raised brows.

"I'm telling you! I saw it!" – Merlin tried to be as convincing as he could. - "It was a gray little thing, it moved about and it's here in the castle.." - cough – ".. and every time I see it I.." – he got cut off by another set of coughing before he could continue; running out of breath, he crouched over the table as he sat and his struggle for air echoed loud in the court physicians' chamber.

"Alright, alright.. Calm down!" – the old man said and hurried to put a cup of water in front of his ward. Merlin grabbed it, drank avidly, not caring about the escaped drops trailing off from his mouth and off chin.

"Oaah… " – he let out a painful moan, holding his neck, eyes still shut tight. Gaius looked at him with concern. It wasn't _this_ bad in the morning.

"I believe you. I just don't know what to make of it." - he thought for a moment. – "Are you sure its not a rat?" – Gaius had hoped; he had _really_ hoped; but it seemed there was no mistake; they were facing yet another mysterious threat, they will no doubt have to fight off and preferably do so, while keeping it in secret.

"No, Gaius. It's definitely not a rat." – the young man shook his head, panting.

"Has anyone else seen it?" – he then asked.

"No.. don't think so." – the boy replied after drinking some more of the water. The cool liquid felt heavenly against his burning throat. - "Besides, none else is coughing.." – the young man added bitterly and waveringly set the emptied cup down on the table.

"Maybe you should lie down a little" – Gaius suggested.

"I'm okay.." - Merlin said, then thought of something; looked at him then at the cup, and couldn't help but to suspect the old man slipped something in it, but as if almost sensing his confusion, but for other reasons, Gaius apologetically continued.

"I'm sorry, but I ran out of coughing medicine. I had to visit a patient and she needed it. It will be some time till the next one is ready. You shouldn't strain yourself until then." – he said motioning to a small flame lit on the other table that had a small cauldron over it.

"Oh.. it's alright.." – the boy said. He wasn't entirely calm about walking around without a _'lifebelt'_ potion, but waiting is waiting; potions need time to be brewed.

"Meantime we still need to figure out what to do.." – the old man continued, refilling the boy's cup with more water – _just in case_ – and sat down across from him.

Merlin rested his head in his hand, scratching the table surface with one finger, clearly deep in thoughts.

"We should start search at the lake." – the physician suggested.

"NO! I'm not going back there!" - the young man suddenly seemed vivid and terrified.

Gaius looked at him a bit surprised. - "What is it?"

"I don't know, just really don't want to go there.."

"Oh, well, its too far anyway.. But how will we know what to look for?"

"You have any books about that lake? More so the rituals that went on there?"

"I do, but I've already looked through them; There was a shrine next to it, that got burnt down, but later got rebuilt; there were some terrible bloodsheds and it was sight to battle on many occasions. That's all I know. However there's more in the library. You could start there."

"Oh…I shouldn't?" – Merlin was hesitant again.

"Why not?"

"Last time I coughed, Geoffrey almost threw me out." – the young man complained and rested his head in his hand again. Gaius snickered.

"It's not funny!" – he exclaimed - "See, what I don't understand is that there's this great big library where none ever goes and he is practically alone all day there with books and still he's so uptight about keeping quiet."

"Its how libraries are, I'm afraid." – the old man said atoning, but amused of the boy's rant.

Merlin frowned looking at his cup.

They were silent for a moment.

"That's it.." - the boy straightened up still looking at the water.

"What?" – Gaius looked at his cup as well.

"It's not the shrine, Gaius.. it's the water! There was something in the water!"

"Possibly.. but it doesn't explain why Arthur isn't sick. He fell in too. … unless.." – Realization washed over the physician's expression, as he continued - "Unless.. it has to do with the fact that you have magic." – he said lowering his voice.

It was a step progress; nonetheless it didn't cheer Merlin up too much.


	8. Chapter 8

**_O: _I'm on a roll! (lol) ** **Here's another chapter~ **

**I hope you enjoy reading it, and don't feel shy to give feedback :) It fuels my ...mind and keyboard xD**

******Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin... but by the life of me, I can't understand, if Morgana had him tied up, why she let him go? O_o**

******..**

"I have an idea!" - he ran up the stairs and straight to the loosened floorboard. Some rustling could be heard and he returned with a thick leather-bound book in his grasp.

Gaius peeked at the door instinctively; it irked him how careless Merlin can be. It was broad daylight; anyone could walk in any minute! How would they explain a spell book? But the boy didn't seem to mind. He _never_ seemed to mind..

Merlin started turning the pages clearly looking for something.

"Oh, here it is..! No.. wait.. This isn't it, its for lost items.. _maybe I should remember that when Arthurs laundry disappears._" _–_ he mumbled to himself; - "Ugh..!" – he grew impatient; slammed the book on the table and simply held his hand above it, eyes flashed gold and suddenly the pages started turning on their own looking for the spell Merlin was after.

Gaius looked at him with an un-approving glare, but didn't say anything.

"It's this one!" – the young man exclaimed and pouncing his hand down on it. Gaius peeked over the colorful page with a chant on it.

"A spell if revelations?" - He picked up the book and started reading it. Merlin looked at him chewing his thumb nail in excitement, curious what his guardian would say of the idea. _It was the best idea he had in days!_

"Its quite dangerous.. It makes you vulnerable to all kinds of spirits."

"Yes, but I have to see it. I know its there, I've sort of seen it, just cant make out what it is.. I need to see it more clearly"

"You know this could even have you hallucinating." – Gaius continued still not looking up from the page.

"Are you going to try and talk me out of it or help me?" – the young man snapped.

"Alright, alright.. I just.. Don't like this idea." – the old man shook his head looking up at his ward.

"It's the only idea we've got, Gaius. The only way to find out what were up against.." – he sighed.

"It could be anything.. "

"Yes, but, if you see this, here.. " – he had to turn away before he could continue showing the other page, as another coughing fit came around. He leaned on the table to steady himself, yet again feeling his insides tense and the feeling of ember dancing up and down his throat, taking the air way from him.

Gaius tried to help with a gentle slap on the back, but it only resulted in Merlin painfully arching it. "Don't.. do. that… !" - he gasped between two coughs and the physician glared at him somewhat startled. The young warlock reached for the cup of water and emptied it like he'd just returned from a full round hunting trip with Arthur.

"I'll start making the potion right away." – Gaius said with determination a few minutes later, while applying some ointment on Merlin's back. He had to verbally tackle him to take his shirt off _("what if someone walks in?" "that didn't stop you from flashing the spell book around!")._ – "Should be ready in a few hours."

Merlin sat on the small bench with his shirt pulled up to his neck and mixed feelings, but had to admit the ointment was a great idea, it gave a calming and warm sensation that lingered on his skin and relieved some of that insisting back pain that's been eating him ever more; due to the aching lungs; even if he felt a bit awkward.

"You will have to go by the library though. I can't make the potion _and_ look up things in the same time." – the physician continued while fiddling with the ointment jar to seal it.

Merlin wondered if the library trip would be necessary at all if they are to go ahead with the spell of revelations, but before he could voice this, there was a knock on the door and soon it opened to let a knight uniform walk in.

"Arthur is calling for you." – Gwaine said and paused to take in the sight of Gaius, his jar and the halfway shirtless Merlin; both residents staring at him.

The young man tugged his top to fall back into place and hurriedly reached for his leather jacket to complete his garment.

The knight looked at him still, when he tried to walk out the door passed him. The young warlock gave him a glare back as he was arranging his collar.

"What? Never seen a strained back?"

"What from? Empty laundry baskets?"

"Shut up, Gwaine."

"Sir... _Sir_.."


	9. Chapter 9

**Alright, so I got into a little bit of a mess. Had some pre-written parts and notes that got tangled somehow and I had to comb them out again into a straight line... but now, let's get productive!**

**So once again, hope you like; enjoy; review~**

**..**

"Sire" - The man bowed. – "Forgive me for coming so unannounced. My name is Orrick of Crowholdt, this is my servant, Obert."

"Welcome to Camelot." – the prince nodded.

They were standing at the bottom of the stairs at the courtyard, where travelers to the castle were usually greeted or seen off at. There stood two men with two horses facing the prince, two knights, and the manservant.

"I bare a message from the Lord Awarnach of Crowholdt Manor, for you." – The man said and handed the rolled up parchment to Arthur. – "He hopes your father's health isn't failing him. He had heard rumors of recent tragedies and sends his best wishes. Unfortunately his health is ailing, thus it did not grant him to come personally, however he wishes to invite you to our humble domain, if your duties permit it.." – he said and bowed once again.

"Thank you, I shall consider." – Arthur said with a slight smile, not really sure what to say to the man. Merlin, standing few feet behind him, noticed his hesitation, but wasn't sure what to make of it. – "Come now, you have a long journey behind you, you must be tired. Rest up and we shall discuss this matter in the evening. There will be a feast, I would very much like you to join us. My knights will lead your horses to the stable boys" – the prince continued, motioning to the two knights behind him, then gestured towards the young warlock as the other two took the reins from Obert. - "And This is my manservant. He will prepare rooms for you and help you settle in. Anything you need you can turn to him and he will _gladly_ help." – Merlin hated that last part, but it was always the same so by this time he didn't even flinch at it. He just smiled, like he was supposed to and bowed slightly.

The prince continued to talk to his guest, while steering him up the stairs. The young warlock went on to grab the luggage, but found Obert to be starring at him rather oddly, and he didn't avert his eyes even after Merlin stood his gaze for a few seconds.

The boy must've been around his age, only an inch or two taller, skinny with dark ginger hair. Come to think of it, there was a slight resemblance between master and servant – Merlin noted to himself, glimpsing at the other man.

Orrick was about the same height as the boy, same shade of hair, a little longer; with beard bordering his face and a much more muscular physique. He appeared to be a nobleman of the way he behaved, even though his clothes told differently. Merlin figured it could be disguise to avoid raising attention to himself along the travel. _One can never know.._ He had his fair share of slave traders and bandit-infested forests to be able to understand that much; though he saw that both master and servant carried swords. He found it unusual to see it on a servant and for a second he wondered what he would do if Arthur would make him carry a sword. – The young warlock shook his head. _He didn't like the idea._

He pulled a bag over his shoulder and grabbed the smaller trunk and started walking up the stairs with Obert right behind him; eyes still on him, in a way that made Merlin feel uncomfortable. He seemed to be quite protective of their belongings, though it wasn't much; the trunk and bag Merlin had and another leather bag the boy already had in his hands, were all there was to carry.

The walk to the guestrooms was quiet. Merlin found his back to be protesting against the weight of the trunk, he also felt his arms to be shaky and started wondering just what could be stuffed in it. Obert still staring at him was getting really irksome, more so because the boy wouldn't say anything whenever the manservant glimpsed at him.

A simple elegant room was appointed as their accommodation.

Merlin proceeded to undo the curtains and open up the windows while the guests settled down and was being more thorough than usual about it; giving himself a little rest after carrying the load up the stairs.

"My servant" – Orrick paused – "stays with me. I would like you to have a cot brought to my chambers, if that's not a problem."

"No problem." – Merlin responded. Odd request, he thought. There was always room at the servants quarters.– "Will there be anything else?"

"No.. that would be all, thank you." – the man smiled taking his gloves off.

The manservant bowed and took a step backwards, towards the door when Orrick spoke again.

"Boy, what is your name?"

"Merlin." – the servant looked back.

"Nice to meet you. I like for people to know each others names if they talk to one another." – he smiled again, turning to his own servant. – "More or less."

Merlin gave a small smile and bowed once again before leaving.

"Obert, go help the boy!" – Orrick said and motioned him to go with the young warlock.

"Oh, that won't be necessary." – Merlin said, thinking of all the armor he drags around after Arthur at times, carrying a cot up the stairs wasn't that much of a challenge anymore.

"It's alright." – the guest said and the young man already was standing in front of the manservant, so Merlin figured, he better not protest against someone helping him with a chore for once; as unusual as it was.

They walked along the corridor. The silence somehow felt bothersome for Merlin, however side glances didn't tell him Obert had any intention to speak any time soon; _but at least he wasn't staring at him anymore._

"So.. Is Crowholdt a beautiful place?" – he asked suddenly.

The tall boy looked at him with a smile and nodded vividly then turned his gaze back to the hallway.

"Is it as big as Camelot?" – Merlin tried again.

The boy shook his head with half a smile.

Merlin cursed inward and figured he should just give up on the one-sided conversation and watch where he's putting his feet instead, when he felt something pat his shoulder.

It was Oberts hand.

Looking up at the smiling face hesaw him motioning to his neck and mouth with his hand.

"Oh.. " – Merlin realized. – "You can't talk.. I'm sorry.." – he felt awkward.

The ginger boy smiled and shook his head, motioning for them to continue walking.

_I bet that's an attribution Arthur would love _me_ to have.._ – the young warlock thought to himself.

..

In the end Merlin was secretly grateful for Orrick to send his servant along; the cot seemed to be heavier then he remembered; though in his mind, he added it on his conditions' account. The coughs took a great deal of strength out of him, perhaps trying to hide them took even more.

And just as he remembered them, they came around to _greet_ him. He nearly dropped his load on his feet when he felt his air cut off.

Obert saw something was wrong and set the other end of the bed down quickly, looking at the dark haired boy.

Merlin stumbled a few feet back and leaned against the wall. It felt like something was scraping across his gullet, and it definitely wasn't the air trying to reach his throbbing lungs.

He heard the other servant step closer, but was grateful, when he choose to only put a hand on Merlin's shoulder instead of attempting a slight slap on the back to _"help out",_ like everybody else.

The manservant looked up at him with teary eyes, trying to motion he is alright, or rather will be in a few minutes time, only to see the boy offering him a skin of water.

Merlin took it and a few gulps helped calm down his boiling throat. The relief was short-lived. He suddenly felt sharp pain in his stomach as if the water was acid for his insides. He stooped forward with a groan, gripping his stomach.

_What now...? _– So far it was just coughing, choking, now his stomach was acing up too? He honestly hoped Gaius has progressed with the potions. Who knows what damages all this was doing to him.

He's been by their chambers on many occasions that day between chores, just to ask.

"_By the life of me, Merlin, if you ask one more time…!". - _old man obviously grew tired of his constant inquiring; and he had to admit he went by the physician one too many times. He couldn't help it, he was growing impatient as well. Gaius could only give him a tonic for the pain, complaining that Merlin "had drunk dry" his whole set of potions.

His stomach calmed down and he withdrew his thoughts from the potions, and coughing, trying to get a grip on himself. Only now he noticed he was slightly sweaty from the pain.

Looked up at Obert and met his concerned eyes.

"I.. I'm alright.. Fell in.. ah….a frozen lake.. cold…sick.." – he pressed the words passed his panting. He realized he hadn't told anyone, besides Gaius of course.. _but then again, who is Obert going to tell anyway? _

The other servant motioned he understands and how he finds that unfortunate. – Merlin was surprised he could actually understand what the boy "said" and was relieved he wont have to say more. He thanked Obert for the water and gathered himself as much to continue their task.

Merlin saw a gray glimmer "run" up the stairs as they passed the staircase and had an urge to chase after it, but decided not to. _One choking at a time.. -_ he frowned.

_.._

Obert closed the door after the manservant left, once the cot was in his place; and Orrick suddenly jumped up from his seat.

"Well?" – he asked impatiently.

The boy nodded, somewhat amazed expression.

Orricks eyes widened.

"Are you sure?"

Obert nodded again with content and smiled.

"Fascinating.." – the man sat down again, as Obert settled on the bed still wearing a wide smile, waving his dangling feet off the side of the bed.

"He's here...he is really here.."


	10. Chapter 10

**Wanted to post this on a day called "tomorrow", but... it's passed midnight(2:50AM), so it practically ****_is_**** tomorrow. Besides, "Growing Secrets" just passed the 3K views,so..._"plans for suitable celebrations"_.. :) Thank you so much.. and without further delay...**

**Chapter 10~**

..

"_Arthur?!_ What are you doing here?" – Merlin was more then surprised to see the crown prince between the old shelves and dim lit halls of the old library.

"Well, Merlin, this _is_ the_ royal_ library.." – the young man rolled his eyes.

"Yes.. I know." – the boy said still eyeing him with furrowed brows. The image of prince Arthur fiddling about in the library seemed so.. _unreal_ to him. Sure the prince always had paperwork and scrolls and maps on his desk in a very messy display, but Merlin had never really imagined him setting foot in the library; - It was much easier to picture him with shield and sword, knocking the sense out of somebody.

"What are _you_ doing here?" – Arthur retorted to change the awkward silence and to shift from being questioned by his own servant; folding his arms across his chest to have a more threatening appearance.

"I come here all the time.." – Merlin said slowly – "Reading. And looking up; stuff; for Gaius.. "

The two of them kept staring at each other for a moment or two, then Arthur had an idea.

"So… You come here all the time?" – the prince asked in a friendly manner and even swung his arm around Merlins' neck, pulling him to walk a bit further from Geoffreys' desk.

"Yea.." – the manservant looked at him suspiciously, his reply almost question like.

"Good." – he smiled – "Then find out all you can about this Crowholdt Manor and come straight to my chambers when you do." – the prince hissed in Merlin's face under one breath and pushed the messenger's letter into the boy's palm.

"Oh?.." – he looked at the crest in the sealing wax, a bit puzzled, – "Oh! You don't know where Crowholdt _is_!" – Merlin exclaimed in realization; a little too loud for both the prince's and Geoffrey's liking, but he was just too joyous at Arthur's obvious discomfort, after realizing where this was going.

"Well, do _you_?!" – the prince snapped and saw his servant think for a moment then his face got all serious again.

"No." – he shook his head with a dumb expression on.

"Then. _Shut._ _Up_." – he said almost like a growl.

"Wait, didn't you say they come from a long way?"

"That's because I saw they looked pretty tired, _Mer_lin. And the horses looked dirty." – Arthur became visibly more and more annoyed. The situation was clearly uncomfortable for him.

"Oh, come on.. What's the big deal about not knowing where one single castle is?" – Merlin tried to ease the tension.

"Well, it just so happens to be that I'm the crown prince. One would expect of me to know each and every castle, inn and latrine across the land!"

"Don't be ridiculous, none can keep that many things memorized… _apart from the inns maybe, you could ask Gwaine about that but.."_

_"Mer_lin.."

"Crowholdt! Right!" - and he peeked around to decide which direction he should storm off to; and did so after he made up his mind.

Arthur looked at him until he disappeared off behind a shelf; then shook his head in disbelief and turned to leave. Sometimes he just couldn't understand that mans' behavior.

..

Arthur made his way back to his chambers.

_No_, - he did not know; never in his life had he heard of Crowholdt Manor, nor had Uthor ever mention it; or anyone by the name Lord Awarnach or Orrick for that matter. The man seemed to know about Camelot and his fathers' condition, and he showed friendly concern over him; but Arthur simply had no idea who these people are and where they came from.

As crown prince he had to balance many things; he couldn't be suspicious of every single person that walked by the castle, it would give the impression that he is paranoid; but nor could he show blind trust, that would make him naïve.

He sighed and sat down at his desk, picking up a quill and trying to get himself to focus the reports he had earlier received, and do something useful, before that looming headache was to arrive.

At this moment he was very grateful for his uncle being there. Agravaine had diplomacy flowing in his veins, and seemed to very much enjoy situations where he had the chance to use this gift of his. So Arthur decided to let his uncle loose on the guests, until the evening arrives, hoping he can get some work done meanwhile.

..

"You got it..!" – the prince looked up from his desk at the young man placing a book and a scroll of paper in front of him.

"You sound surprised.." – the boy remarked.

"I kind of am.. You found it pretty fast."

"I had luck." – Merlin grinned and thought to himself with a bit of dread how he almost pulled a whole shelf on himself for misspelling a searching chant between two coughs, in the end fighting both for breath and safety from the shower of heavy volumes; Not to mention Geoffrey. _– he was yet to figure out how to solve that part of the problem.._

Luckily the book in question landed near him in the heavy shower.

He was usually efficient in his library searches. – Of course none had to know _how_ exactly he _pulled_ the information.

"Very efficient, Merlin" – the prince nodded with content.

"Thank you." – the boy gave off a genuine smile.

"If only you'd be as efficient with your chores.." – Arthur then added earning himself a very unfriendly glare and pursed lips from his servant before he walked out of his chamber.

..

"Clotpole"

"I heard that"


	11. Chapter 11

**Still combing though the pre-writtens.. bare with me. ****Here's chapter 11. Sorry for the delay~**

** As always: hope you like, enjoy~ Reviews are most welcome :) Let me know how I'm progressing.**

**..**

He stumbled into the court physicians' chamber coughing loudly and going straight towards a bucket of water; slamming down the small black volume and parchments he carried from the library on the table oh his way. He dipped a cup and drank feverishly and the cool water eased some of that burning feeling, though through he second cup he felt the water to be a bit too cold for his hurting gullet.

He staggered back, hitting his heel on the foot of the bench and clumsily sat down; wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and stooped forward, involuntarily rocking himself slightly while holding his neck and chest, and waiting for it to pass. This pain was like nothing before, even the air was hurting as he drew breath into his lungs, and he felt the water in his throat, as if he hadn't swallowed it well. He couldn't help but to let out small moans now and then while panting, and felt getting sweaty from it.

The physician looked on somewhat shocked, walking up behind him with a book in hand. Merlin didn't notice him at once, too distracted by his agony.

"Gai-us..!" – he said startled once he spotted him. – "It's.. getti..ng.. worse.." – he said with a shaky voice, still trying to catch his breath.

For once the wise old man didn't know what to say; all he could do is watch on with a frown as his teary eyed ward struggled to overcome the pain. The next minute the boy jumped towards a bucket on the ground and emptied the water he just drank into it.

..

"Gaius?" – Merlin awoke on the cot; he was laying on his side, his feet drawn up, with a damp cloth on his head that just slid off once he moved. He peered around confused, not remembering how and when he got there.

His guardian was sitting at the table, studying the book Merlin had earlier brought with a serious face and only turned his head to see the young warlock awaken.

"H-how long was I out?" – he asked; He noticed the cot has been pulled close to the table.

"Not long. Ten, twenty minutes at most." – Gaius replied and turned to face the young man, taking his glasses off. – "How are you feeling?"

Merlin grabbed the damp cloth and sat up. Still felt a bit shaky, the burning sensation persisting, but his chest felt easier and breathing wasn't as hard as he remembered.

"Better.." – he said after a few moments thinking and a few strokes of massaging his chest. He sensed there was some ointment on his skin and his neckerchief was missing. He could vaguely recall Gaius persuading him to lie down; he figured out the rest.

He looked up at the physician again, then spotted the book in front of him.

"Found anything?" – he asked.

Gaius eyed him for a moment before turning back to the book.

"I have some good news and some bad news.." – he sighed.

"I never like it when you start out like that." – Merlin mumbled, and got up with a groan, to take a seat across from Gaius. He rubbed his eyes and forehead to get his sight to clear up, feeling his skin to be a bit too warm to the touch.

"The _illness_ you have now has been recorded of before. Bedegrayne Fields was noted to have developed the same symptoms you have; ..before she deceased. She was thought to be a sorceress as well. It started out like you, coughs, fever then.. vomiting, rashes and eventually death; by suffocation; among others." – Gaius had difficulty talking for some reason; all the while Merlin looked on uneasy.

"Please tell me that wasn't the good news.."

"The good news is the potion is almost ready. You should learn the incantation to it." – the physician said and pulled the spell book out from under some cloth that had dry herbs spread across it.

"Good news indeed.." – Merlin sighed with some relief and took the book in his hands to look up and go through the spell description again.

"What else does it say about her? has she been to the lake?" – he asked while turning the pages looking for the chant.

"That I don't know of. But it was noted she started traveling up north, unexpectedly. She got as far as Houdain's Cleft." – the physician replied fiddling with the notes in front of him.

"Maybe she knew something.."

"Could be." – Gaius shrugged.

"It is possible she used the spell of revalations..?" – Merlin asked.

"We have no way of knowing.. Merlin, what's this?" – the old man asked and handed over a darkened parchment. – "It was stuck to one of the recipes I asked you to find."

"Oh..I had to look up something for Arthur. 'Suppose I forgot to hand it to him."

"For Arthur? In the library?" – the old man looked a little surprised. Merlin peeked up at him and was somewhat pleased of the fact that the thought of '_Arthur in the library' _wasn't odd _only_ to him.

"Yes, he wanted to know about Crowholdt."

"Crowholdt?" – Gaius's eyebrows raised and he sat up straight.

"Yes.. you know of it?" – the young warlock lifted his head curiously.

"Heard about it." – the physician nodded thinking, and Merlin had a feeling there's more to it then his guardian is letting on.

"Why does Arthur want to know about it?"

"We have a guest from there, he brought a message from Lord _Awa-something_.. Awarnach, inviting Arthur to Crowholdt Manor. Just that the clotpole didn't know where it is and needed me to look it up.. What is it?" - Gaius's expressions changed and after thinking for a moment he got up and went about his chamber, scanning across his books as if searching for something.

"Interesting. I do wonder why he would invite Arthur.." – Gaius mumbled more to himself then to the young man, then walked up the narrow staircase to reach the books that were aligned at the top.

"Did he invite Uther as well?" – he asked not looking back.

"No.. Just Arthur. He claimed he had heard of Uther's condition." - Merlin watched him a bit nervously. He remembered their very first meeting, when Gaius fell down from that very spot. But this time the old physician retreated with no issue and put a small book on the table, after making some room for it, among the notes and herbs. It had a worn and darkened cover, looked even dirty. Merlin thought it surely seen better days, then his jaw dropped in realization. _All that time he wasted in the library, and Gaius had notes about Crowholdt right here in his chamber._

"It's about Crowholdt? Why is it here and not in the library?" – the young man blurted out the question.

"I figured it wouldn't be advised to keep it there. Uther was very selective of the books. And how should I put it? Crowholdt Manor had always held its gates open to people with special _gifts_."

"People with.. magic?" – Merlin uttered in amazement, eyes widened.


	12. Chapter 12

**Yes, yes, I know. It has taken me quite the time to get this one done, my apologies for those waiting. _Don't put me in the stocks!_**

**However... wow..! I feel so swept away by all the responses I'm getting to this.. Thank you so much! ****:'D Keep it coming! makes me float in happy-bubble and type away!**

**Enjoy~**

**..**

**..**

_A whole castle full of people using magic? _- Merlin was amazed; more than that, he was mesmerized. Most he heard of was the druid camps in the forests, even those in hiding and most of the time on the run; never staying too long in one location. But the idea of a whole castle – _picturing it to be like a small Camelot_ – to be inhabited by people who accept and/or use magic.. It was a thought he liked; it was something he felt to be dear. How easier his life would be if he wouldn't have to hide himself. If he could be _free._ If all magic users could live without staying in the shadows, living with fear. He let his mind wander to grasp it; to savior it. Wondered if Albion will be like that.. _To be so free._ To be out in the open and not having to hide his secret, because of the constant death threat looming over his head every time he used it; every time he acted like _himself_. His heart sank, longing for a place like that, and for a second he really hoped Arthur would accept that invitation.

"Why would a castle worth of sorcerers invite Arthur?.." – then realization hit him and he tensed.

It was taking time for the prince to get adjusted to being more in charge and take up more responsibilities, even though he was handling it pretty well – _Merlin thought_ - and he had to admit it did change some things for him as well; he was no longer the _prince's_ manservant, he was the future _king's_ manservant, - because let's face it, Uther didn't seem to be hopping back onto the throne any time soon. Then there was Agravaine who was just becoming overly suspicious, ever since he came around asking Gaius about his alter-ego, Emrys. He even had problems of his own, of that haunting gray glimmer and an illness that was reaching for him deeper and deeper, along with his usual/unusual tiredness, endless chores and skipped meals here and there, and now there came along Orrick and Obert; and Merlin grew more and more uneasy as thoughts just rushed and flooded him of what their plan could possibly be; he was almost hysterical.

"Arthur could be in danger! I have to do something… I have to stop him from going. He could be walking into a trap! Maybe it's Morgana! Maybe she set this whole thing up! And all they are waiting for is for Arthur to be out of the way and then they can strike and take Camelot over or kill Arthur while he is riding towards Crowholdt ..that.. God knows where it is..!" – he jumped up and started pacing; continuously ignoring the hint of dizziness and nausea that reached him once he got on his feet. He just pushed those aside, like everything else when it was about the safety of Arthur. He headed towards the door. – "I have to go tell Arthur!"

"Merlin… _Mer_lin!" – the old man tried to make him snap out of it, but the boy was too worked up over his thoughts and only stopped once another coughing fit hit him in the chest again. He staggered back to the table. Gaius quickly filled a cup with water, and put it in his hand. Merlin gulped the cool liquid down with a rush; which again danced around his stomach.

The burning grip on his throat and lungs convinced him to stay put, so he just sat, crouched, in quiet groans till the caustic sensation eased up enough for him to bare it; and be able to again push in the background with the rest of his thoughts.

Gaius exhaled, lightly caressing his ward's back, looking at him with an un-approving glare.

"Youre paranoid."

"Can you blame me?!" – he snapped; turning his head to the side to look up at the old man.

Truth be told, Gaius couldn't blame him.

..

..

He sat some time crouching on the bench, not looking at anything in particular. Gaius was up and about; decided to make some tea for them; glimpsing at his quiet ward from time to time. He feared recent events have finally started to catch up to the boy. Of what happened at the Isle of the Blessed and even the attack of the Dorocha on him –_ of which Gaius learnt of afterwards; and pretty horrified of it too_ – their loss of Lancelot; knowing he and Merlin were good friends, the knight knowing about his _magical_ secret, and now that lake incident, and the obvious worsening of his condition. Adding to that a new possible threat, the old man felt he was growing tired. Could only imagine how the boy felt, being in the middle of it all.

Merlin always had something to do; something to distract him, and the old physician sometimes wondered if that's a good thing. Each event in his life had to be pushed to the background, because each time those instances happened, other, more pressing matters got priority.

"Should.. warn Arthur.." – Merlin spoke carefully not to upset his throat again. He was wondering about the guests from Crowholdt, and saw no other option. Arthur surely will get upset and not believe him, but at least he will know and.. be more careful, or something. No, he will _not_ believe him.

The old man turned around with the pot and looked at him. The boy was still leaning forward and staring at the edges of his spell book. He walked back to the table and poured the tea into their cups and sat down to face the young warlock.

For once, the tea had a welcoming smell, rather than some medicine or odd herb _(or bathwater)_ and the steaming cup caught Merlin's attention away from his pondering.

He took a small sip and just stared at it; the heat felt a little odd against his strained throat, but there was something calming about it.

"And tell him what? You know very well you can't just walk up to him and start accusing people. It never got to anywhere in the past either and we don't even know what the two of them want."

"We'll just have to keep a watchful eye then."

"I suppose." - Gaius sighed, not really liking the idea.

"That shouldn't be to hard. I mean, what could he do? There are just too many people around, don't think he will attempt anything here, with all the guests and the feasts and such." – Merlin said but immediately reconsidered, remembering all the times a villain had actually used the feast as distraction to attempt killing the king; or the prince; or even him. He looked at Gaius; and the old man's lifted eyebrow said the same thing.

"As if that never happened."

"Right." – he mumbled, and just nodded.

"But if Orrick would want to kill him, why go through all the trouble of bringing an invitation? Doesn't make sense." – Gaius asked.

"Not, unless they want to lure him away from the castle."

"Or actually get him to Crowholdt.." - this was the moment when the old physician noticed the topic becoming uneasy for the warlock.

"Arthur.. still thinks like Uther, Gaius." - he said bitterly - "I don't think he will he overly happy when he finds out what that place is actually like.. Or what will he do to Orrick and Obert, if he finds out.."

"You can never know, Merlin.. Arthur _has_ changed. He is very different then Uther is many aspects already."

The boy just nodded quietly, not looking up.

"We'll see.." - he mumbled then and idly rubbed his eyes. Each inch of his body yelled for sleep; even his stomach had given up the idea of demanding food. He wondered if it had anything to do with the tea.

"What are these people like?" - the elderly man asked, taking another gulp of his drink.

"Well, nothing out of ordinary, I suppose. I didn't sense anything in them, nor their belongings. Orrick seems to be of noble birth, quite friendly and Obert, his servant is ..just a servant. He cant speak though."

"Oh.."

"What? Does that tell you something?

"No, no."

"Gaius?"

"I was just wondering, that maybe sometimes Arthur would value that in you too." – the old man snickered into his tea.

"Thanks." – Merlin gave him a glare.

..

..

"But, first thing's first though!" – Gaius raised his voice and set the cup down – "Finding out more about our guests can wait. Let's focus on your illness now."

"I'm not sick!" – Merlin exclaimed. Gaius lifted an eyebrow – "I'm being haunted.." – he added, but had to admit it didn't sound any better.

It seemed absurd in a way. Few days ago he was thinking how he had fought various magical creatures and got out of some really _really _big messes, catching a cold seemed.. almost childish. – However, seeing the dark blue paste-looking potion Gaius had waiting for him, he was considering, maybe a cold would've been a better option. But then again, Merlin never had that kind of luck since he set foot in Camelot.

He looked a bit weary at the potion.

"Does it suppose to have that color?" – he asked.

"Yes." – Gaius looked at it, him too a bit uneasy. – "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Merlin sighed and stood up, reaching for the small bottle.

"No choice Gaius.. either I find out what it is or die. Ugly."

Gaius handed him the potion and continued to look on.

Merlin glimpsed one last time at the page in his book and pulled the cork out of the vial.

"Well.. For Camelot!" – he raised the vial as a toast then downed the suspiciously foul smelling liquid. The taste wasn't as bad as he expected, but it was bad enough to make him grimace. He then set the vial down and closed his eyes, then began to chant the ancient words.

"**_Berbay odothay arisan yeldo. Ablinan." _**– His eyes glowed gold for a second as the boy opened them. He felt a warm shiver run though him, even easing that burning feeling in his chest slightly. Then... nothing.

"Notice anything?" – Gaius asked in a whisper a few moments later.

Merlin cautiously looked around the chamber, but he couldn't spot anything that he didn't already know was there. He even tried to force a small cough and look attentively if any gray glimmer shows up anywhere, but the room remained as it was. Vials, herbs, books, furniture.. nothing showed any signs that should alarm the warlock.

"No, nothing.."

"Perhaps it needs more time."

"Perhaps.."


	13. Chapter 13

He wasn't in pain.

Well, wasn't in _too_ much pain, but least the coughs subsided enough that he didn't have to grab onto something every other minute to keep himself from tumbling; his aching back and chest were a different matter though. However, staying in one place helped, _sort of, _as he was standing few feet behind Arthur's chair at a court meeting.

Members of the court and several guests were all seated at the long table, that was covered in scrolls and maps and discussions were vivid; not all that angry, just vivid. Some other nobles had their servant standing behind their chair as well.

He couldn't pay attention to the meeting.

He didn't even know why he had to be there.

Sometimes he would follow what they talked about, for not having anything better to do; he would listen to them talk of lands unseen and places far away, and many more; Merlin found it to be interesting. Obviously not perking his interest enough to make him want to leave Camelot, but it was refreshing to hear of other regions then what he already knew about Camelot and the places near by. Sometimes he would learn of new things listening to them; such things as where druids or bandits were spotted. He'd been told it was a privilege for a servant to be present at such meetings. Right now, however it didn't feel like that.

He wanted nothing more then to just sit down. He felt drowsy, tired and had to keep masking yawns, as Arthur discussed borders and lands and taxes.

As time dragged on he would find himself wobbling and his glance going unfocused. His back aching more and more, pulling him down, he was starting to think he will just lay down on the ground and sleep; and if they will throw him in the dungeon for sleeping on a meeting, then least there's hay in the cells and he can sleep further on.

He tried to focus on the discussion once again but each inch of his muscles ached from standing there for so long; he was itching to do something.

For lack of better ideas he decided to take a look at the other servants that were present at the royal meeting.

At the far end stood a young woman, Lady Lictina's maid, she looked dull and just as bored, wearing a gown that looked a little more then a maid's outfit and didn't suit her figure all too well. It was common knowledge, that the Lady adored her maid and would have her wear dresses she picked. Merlin wondered what the maid thought about it. He remembered Arthur picking his clothes once and that sure didn't feel right, - nor did it end well.

Moving along there stood a young man, about as tall as George, and after examining him more Merlin realized he even had the same nose as the other servant, for all he knew they could be relatives. He was Lord Estene's servant. Standing proudly, obviously full aware of the "honor" to be present at the meeting, as a servant. _Yes, he probably _was_ a relative of George. –_ he thought.

Standing a little further off was Jonas; Merlin met him a few times, whenever his master came to visit the Pendragon household, quite the unfriendly fellow; surprisingly tall, and really quiet; now looking even more quiet as his eyes were about to close.

Merlin lost interest in the fellow servants scanning as soon as he learnt they were all mirroring his feelings about the meeting. He let out a quiet sigh.

He wondered if a sleeping spell would work on so many people. Just so he can take a little nap as well; just a few minutes.

Then his gaze wandered to Orrick's servant for some reason and he found the boy to be staring at him once again, hardly blinking; wide awake, compared to the rest of them; he kept an almost concerned gaze at him.

It was uncomfortable.

Merlin decided to stare back; Obert looked on, as if looking for clues or lost parts of a puzzle. The warlock questioningly lifted an eyebrow at the ginger young man, to which the boy looked to somewhere behind Marlin's back.

Merlin let out a soft sigh again.

..

He wondered if it was overhearing that sigh or something else, but Arthur – _at last - _ called the meeting off to be continued once they are all refreshed.

The council members and guests all strutted outside followed by their servants and the guards closed the council room's doors.

Once they were alone Merlin let out a loud moan of a breath and backed off to lean against a pillar, then proceeded to slide down and sit at the base of it.

Arthur looked at him somewhat curiously.

"What's up with you?"

"I thought it would never end!" – the servant said, not masking his unhappiness.

"It's how meetings are, Merlin." – Arthur leaned back in his chair still looking at the young man on the ground. Something looked off about him.

"It's seriously boring!" – the young man snapped.

"Well Merlin…" – Arthur was about to think up some retort to put his servant in place, but then he just bit the sentence off. – 'Yes, it is, I have no idea how my father could run these things. I prefer to run around on patrol any day."

The young warlock just looked at him, then gave off a scoffed laugh.

"Something wrong? You look half asleep."

"Probably because I AM!" – Merlin said and with a moan he pulled himself to his feet once more; more so because he felt he will surely fall asleep if he were to sit around for a few more minutes.

"You should fetch my supper then. And I'd like some fresh fruit from the market. That should wake you up." – the prince grinned at his servant.

Merlin stared at him and smiled; with a smile that could kill rats.

..


	14. Chapter 14

_What he doesn't know, won't hurt him_. – and on that theory Merlin didn't bother walking down to the town to fetch some apples for the prince. He packed the tray with food and headed up to the prince's chambers.

He coughed; he stopped. Looked around and saw nothing happen.

He started wondering if they had messed something up, or was this really how the potion and the enchantment should be working. For all he knew this helped better then the actual coughing tonic, but didn't get him any answers.

He didn't start suffocating out of the blue, he didn't throw up, he hadn't spotted the gray glimmer and the sun was nearly setting.

On some level he was happy about it, and started wondering if it was an entities doing at all. He still wanted to find out as much. It was annoying to not know what was going on, but it was impossible to do research if he didn't have physical time to do it.

.

Arthur focused on his meal, while Merlin went about his chores around the royal chambers. Readying his sword for the next day, making sure his cape wasn't getting creased; and the odd jobs like fishing out the other pair of his boot from under the bed. – _How the hell did it get there..?_

Looking across under the bed he caught sight of something, but before he could tell what it is, it vanished from his sight. One thing he could tell: it was certainly gray.

He jolted up to see if it's still in the room, slamming the back of his head against the edge of the bed, then swearing so ornately it made Arthur stop eating. He curled on the floor holding his head for a few more curses and seconds then hurried to stand with one hand still on his nape, looking around hastily, trying to find his footing, catching the eye of a very confused prince.

"Rats again, Merlin?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but he broke out in coughing instead and went crashing down again on the ground.

"Merlin?.." – the prince called out again.

The servant than lifted his free hand signaling he will be fine in a minute, and tried to get a hold on his breathing. A bit later he managed to lower it to heavy panting and he just sat with his back against the night stool, trying to ignore the pain grasping his chest.

"You alright?" – Arthur asked from a few feet away. The young warlock didn't notice when he walked up to him.

"Y..Yea..!" – he answered a little startled. – "I think.. might be.. dust.." – he blurted out, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

The prince looked at him with creased brows for a second and held his hand out to pull him to his feet.

"Dust wouldn't bother you if you'd do a better job cleaning my chambers."

Merlin stared at him pursing his lips, and grabbed the young man's hand.

.

So the potion was working. Or it wasn't, or just not how it supposed to.. or…

He desperately needed to figure this thing out; the sooner the better.

.

"Have to hand it to you Merlin, the information you gathered was very helpful. I wouldn't mind finding out even more about Crowholdt Manor." – Arthur said fiddling with the water pitcher.

"Anything to help." – Merlin mumbled, walking up to the table to gather the leftovers of the prince's meal.

"I like it so far." - Arthur turned to face him, then put a cup of water on the edge of it, suggesting for his servant to take it.

Merlin looked at it then at the prince in amazement and heart pumping in his throat.

"You do?"

"Yes, a strategically remarkable place. I'm surprised my father never mentioned it."

"I wonder why.." - Merlin thought aloud, grabbing the cup and emptied it avidly; feeling the cold liquid quenching the pain in his throat somewhat; it felt so wonderfully relieving.

"You know something I don't?"

"No.." – he snapped out of it once feeling the prince's gaze on him – "Just.. many things going on at the moment, you shouldn't neglect your duties."

"Well, Agravaine can take care of it." – Arthur couldn't help but notice he _really_ was looking for a way out of the castle; _any_ way. The meetings and discussions were really getting on his nerves. He felt he wasn't really doing anything but talking. He knew it was something he needed to do, but still preferred being out in the open with his knights.

"You can't just leave. You would still need to know more, before you head out. I could look up more things, if.. I had more time."

"You suggesting a day off? Again?"

"No.. Just suggesting I could find out more things about Crowholdt for you if… I had more _free time_ to research.. The library is quite big you know." – he did his best to look willing.

Arthur glared at him.

"Tell me, why you would want a day off?" – he asked again and sat back in his seat. – "Tell me and I'll grant it." – he was really curious. Merlin would moan about chores but never really asked for a day off. This was interesting.

"I just told you.." – he retorted, but the prince just kept looking. Was Arthur getting better at detecting lies or he was just getting worse at telling them. Merlin shook his head and grabbed the tray.

Arthur looked after him puzzled, then he remembered something that happened at the feast the other evening.

"The lake." – he then said.

"What?" – Merlin turned to look at him.

"The lake we fell in. You coming down with something?"

"What?! No!" – he looked almost offended and stormed out the door.

..

_The night before.._

_._

"Dedicated servant." – Orrick said.

Arthur looked up at the dark haired boy, just as he almost bumped into a maid carrying a tray.

"Clumsier is yet to be born." – he rolled his eyes – "But yes, he is quite devoted."

"Such is hard to come by.. Gifted one too."

"Gifted? Who? Merlin?" – he scoffed, unaware of the man's gaze on him.

Orrick scanned Arthurs expression for a second - _so he doesn't know.._ - then his attention went back to his dinner.

"It must be hard work to be the princes' manservant. One man undoubtedly needs to be gifted to live up to such task."

Arthur looked at the man, then glanced at his servant.

He never wondered about that. He did weigh Merlin down with chores, sometimes jut to irk him a little, yet he always managed to get them done; well most of the time. Suppose he really was gifted in a way; and those times he's been the barer of wisdom when Arthur needed it. His loyalty for one, humbled Arthur. - At this moment something caught his eye and it made him stop eating. He saw Merlin standing, - no, _hiding_ - behind a pillar and he had a pained expression, pale as well, gasping a few times until regained his posture.

He made a mental note to ask him about that later on. Dough, knowing Merlin, that will be difficult to find out.


	15. Chapter 15

**_YES. It get's more delish~ from now on. ;) I'm on a roll again! woohoo. _****_Reviews are welcome! And.._**

**_ Enjoy~_**

**_.*._**

_He really needs to be more focused. - _Merlin was pretty furious with himself for letting Arthur grow doubts.

Then he heard some voices and stopped to locate them. Upon looking around he spotted the tiny barred window high up on the wall. It was leading into one of the guestrooms.

"..he follows him around everywhere.." – a female voice said somewhat upset.

"Of course he does, he _is_ the prince's manservant."

"Aye.. " – the voice sighed.

"Too bad.. he is a rather handsome fellow.."

"He is.."

Merlin couldn't help but smile and straighten his back.

"I wonder if he fancies anyone.."

"We could always find out, my lady.."

"Would be good to have a bit of _fun_ while we're here.." – the woman giggled. – "These meetings are incredibly boring."

Merlin felt his ears burning and hurriedly walked away.

.

He did not want to think about it. Just. Not. Think.

Lady Lictina was quite the friendly woman, for someone of noble birth; and not an all unpleasant sight; and although she had a kind smile, she so graciously showed off to Merlin whenever they met,_ (which made sense now), _she still was about twice his age; and his size; if not more.. He felt almost violated.

_How dare she?! The harpy! He wasn't some sort of plaything!_

_._

But by the time he hurriedly took another turn, he realized this just gave him an idea.

.

If Orrick and Obert were really up to something, he needed to find out and find out fast; and what better place to look for any resentful evidence then their quarters, and their private discussions, in the so thought privacy of their chambers.

He turned around and headed to the other wing where he knew the two men had their rooms.

Once there, he set the tray down on the ground and pressed his ear to the door. He couldn't hear a thing.

_Of course! You're being stupid, Merlin! _One of them is mute and the other one is unlikely the kind that talks to himself; although he could clearly hear rustling inside, and even voices. He figured there might be something just yet; it just needed some other way of finding it out, and soon he spotted the 'way'.

He pulled a small bench to the wall and climbed on it, carefully peeking into the room to the small barred window this room had as well. The hallway was poorly lit. Even the nearest torch was a several feet away, so the residents of the room didn't notice the movement at the small ventilation hole.

He caught sight of Obert sitting in a chair and leisurely cleaning a boot.

"You sure you should be doing that now?" – he heard Orrick's somewhat irked voice.

The boy lifted his head and nodded.

"But.." – the man started but then the boy lifted his hand, motioning it's alright.

"I know.. I know.. " – the man mumbled and Merlin could see him pacing up and down, while Obert continued cleaning the boot.

Well that certainly wasn't a master-servant attitude, the young warlock thought. Not that their constant banter with Arthur was something nobles would appreciate, but this still seemed different; and he still couldn't get over the similarity the two had.

Obert put the boot aside, observing his work for a bit; then crossing his arms he slowly looked from left to right and back; obviously looking at the pacing man in the room, which was out of Merlin's eyesight by now.

He then clapped and made some hand signals.

_Of course. – _Merlin thought. They _have _to communicate _somehow_.

Orrick walked up to him, and looked on as Obert made more hand signs.

The peeking young man had no idea what he was 'saying', but Orrick huffed through his nostrils at one point, though not moving from his arms-crossed position.

"I understand!" – he blurted out – "But it still irks me! How can the man be so damn blind? _In_ the castle! Right under his nose, and he still doesn't notice!"

_Hand signs._

"Yes! Yes! I get as much!" – he snapped waving at the younger man.

More hand signs and this time Obert slammed a palm on the edge of the table in frustration.

Orrick gave off a sigh and looked to the other corner.

"You're right.. " – he said a few moments later. – "The balance is still very delicate at this point.. We mustn't interfere."

_Hand signals._

"Awarnach is another matter.. " – the man gave a troubled sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. – "His damn curiosity. I told him, it's too early but to no avail."

Obert made a few more signs and some clapping ones with his finger, to which the other man started to laugh.

"Maybe.." – he then said.

The young man smiled as well, then made signals that the young warlock figured meant he is hungry, but he couldn't look on more.

..

"_You there!_ What _are_ you doing?" – a deep intruding voice hissed, and Merlin felt his heart will stop that very minute.

Before he could properly get off the bench, Agravaine grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him down, almost holding him off the ground staring into the startled boy's face.

"Rats!" – he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Rats?"

"Yes, my lord! Rats! Big as… really big rats.." – he continued trying to signal for the lord to keep his voice down.

Agravaine glared at him as if not being able to decide it the servant was telling the truth or just being a simpleton.

"I thought I saw one go into that room.." – he said then lowered his voice even more – "Camelot is almost but overthrown with them! And with all these guests, it really wouldn't shed good light on the household, to harbor so many rodents. You'd do well to check your belongings, my lord. And have your servants double-check your cupboards.. Nothing is safe!" – he said with in almost one breath, putting on a worried face and prayed the man will believe him.

"That's.. that's not very good."

"Indeed it isn't, my lord!"

"It would be most unfortunate if such rumors were to be spread about Camelot!"

"I dread to think about it! That's why I'm trying to catch them!"

The older man gave him another suspicious look and peered at the small opening on the wall, then at the tray of leftovers on the ground.

Merlin followed his gaze.

"It's for lure, my lord."

"Very well.. carry on." – the man let the manservant go, however still not completely sure about the rats. This was Arthur's manservant after all, he shouldn't doubt him wandering around the castle; however he looked like a complete idiot most of the time. The man couldn't even understand why Arthur would bring the boy along on every trip and hunt. Perhaps he pitied him..

"I need to get more traps.." – Merlin said, picking up the tray and scurried off; The nobleman looked after him for a while then headed the opposite direction.

Merlin looked back, then couldn't help but smile a little when he saw Agravaine peer behind the griffin statue in the hallway.

..

A few turns later he looked behind his back, and once not hearing any movement, he slowed his pace.

That went smooth. The lord could have caused him some serious trouble there.

However he didn't find out much. Only that there was something in the castle, that was of delicate balance and it was right under someone's nose; - supposedly Arthur's. And Awarnach was a curious man, seemingly too curious for his subjects liking. All in all, he didn't find anything out; and not like he's going to go through the trouble to learn hand signs to be more successful in understanding them, the next time.

He let out a tired sigh.

At that moment he thought he heard something and stopped to look behind him again, but a few seconds pause didn't reveal anything so he continued walking.

So much for this day; and he figured he will need to read up on that spell as well tomorrow; to see if he had done something wrong, or – even though it seemed unlikely – that Gaius made some mistake at the potion.

The sun had set and still nothing happened.

Deep in thoughts, he was staring at the leftovers on Arthur's tray. Some vegetables on the side, and that drumstick looked mighty inviting, as he just remembered how terribly empty his stomach felt. Sometimes he marveled why they give so much food to the prince if he never really finished his meals; then wondered for a second if Arthur purposely leaves his food for _some reason.._

He figured he will do a bit of "clean up" and jumped in the nearest alcove to have a better look at that drumstick, laying _'so alone'_ on that plate.

He was bout to take a bite when something startled him in such manner he dropped both the meat and the tray.


	16. Chapter 16

**It would be horribly mean of me to keep you good folks waiting after such a cliffie, wouldn't it? :P This just needed a bit more polish. ****Thank you all so much for the reviews, they really make me happy :"3 Keep 'em coming xD **

**So without further ado... chapter 16..hope you will like it!**

**Enjoy~!**

**.*.**

The gray glimmer jumped out as if from beside of him, onto the corridor and vanished to the right. After just a split second, with his heart pumping in his throat, Merlin jumped out after it, only to see it turn at the other corner. _It didn't disappear this time! He could see it!_ He didn't need to be told twice and despite the gripping feeling in his throat he dashed right after it. He chased it down the hallways but after a few turns the glimmer vanished again, and a few steps later he halted, and turned around to the noise coming from behind him. He could have sworn he heard footsteps running towards him, as if someone was rushing on the stone floor barefoot with small rapid steps. Except that he couldn't see _anything_ or _anyone_, even thought the sounds were coming ever so closer to him.

He felt a violent shiver and his heart throbbed as if it was going to jump out of his chest. He turned around again and again, nervously twisting; scanning the dark corridor, but nothing was there except for him and two torches in the distance, and no sound could come, besides his heavy panting and the sizzling of the flickering lights; but it was there. The rapid small steps running towards him, and then there was laughter; and there were screams. And Merlin started to panic. _Was he hearing things? Could this be the spells' effect?_

Then he saw light emanating from outside in the courtyard and heard a scream from behind him as if shouting from right next to his ear; that made his blood freeze; and dread grip into his heart. He turned sharply and felt something run through him and he suddenly was soaked in cold sweat and fighting for air, and feeling fatigued, as if something had tugged at his body; at his insides; at his very soul.

He still couldn't see anything, his sight even went blurry.

The scream continued and more joined and the light in the yard seemed to rise with new strength.

He could sense magic, but then again not; as if it would be swarming around him, not quite in his reach.

He turned towards the window, but lost his footing and fell.

The screams and footsteps ran away and he just lay on the ground shaking and soaked in sweat and had no idea what just happened to him.

.

He could see the light in the courtyard and the screams appeared to be coming from there..

He reached for some strength he had left and pushed himself from the ground, crawling to the opening. He gripped the windowsill and pulled himself to his feet, but his footing didn't last long once he saw what the light was in the courtyard.

There was a pyre, that burnt with a sickly flame and there were ropes dangling from out of nowhere with the same sickly glimmer and on those ropes there were bodies; grownups and children alike; and there was movement, small figures running around the pyre and amongst the dangling feet and as they would shift and as they would turn and swirl sometimes they – and he dreaded it - would look up at him with dark hollows for eyes and the screams went on and Merlin was certain one of those screams was his own now..

He staggered back, unable to take his gaze of off the horrid vision and bumped into something and felt something heavy hit his elbow, then his back and head slamming against something. He would later realize, he bumped into a misplaced bench and fell to the ground.

..

Dark figures crept into his sight and they were talking. - _To him? _He could vaguely make out his name; calling his name, but he was too cold and too weak and too scared to be able to fight back. He wanted to hold back those shadowy edges that were flowing into his vision, but soon lost the fight and everything was engulfed in darkness.

He felt a pull at his arm, then at the other and something pressed against them, painfully lifting his body, holding his wrists, and felt his feet being dragged across something, head bobbing, so heavy and so hurting.

_They carried him from the hallway._

"You alright, Merlin? What happened?" – he saw a familiar face once he opened his eyes and he soon realized he was laying on a cot. His shirt somewhat unlaced, he could still feel the warmth of a palm that had just rubbed his chest seconds ago, to massage his heart; to calm it's uneven palpitations. The two faces in front of him soon took shape and he could recognize them more clearly; one of them, holding a candle somewhat above for them to see; the other one leaning over him. Their expressions were of genuine concern; kind of surprising to see such concern, seeing as who they were and they barely knew him, but the boy just shook his head slowly. _How could he tell what had happened when he himself didn't know..?_

"I f.. ell asl..e..ep.. bad drea..m.." - he mumbled but even he wouldn't have believed a lame story like that. _Sleeping in the hallway? Really?_

The two ginger heads looked at each other then back at him, thinking he obviously wasn't talking in a waking state. He felt the older one's hand press against his forehead and observe him. He lost track of time for a few minutes.

"Please.. don't tell my master.. he doesn't need to know.." – the young warlock then swallowed. His mouth felt incredibly dry.

"Maybe he does." – there was something in his voice that caught Merlins' attention for a glimpse of time.

The other figure briefly vanished, only to return – _as if reading Merlin's need _– with a cup and helped the manservant drink some water. The taste of it felt heavenly, but it left a burning trail as it headed down his throat, so Merlin only accepted a few sips.

"Please.." – he begged. – "Don't tell him.. he has enough to worry about.."

"He has the right to know. You are unwell."

"No..! I can manage! He is better off.. not knowing." - and Merlin gathered his strength to get up and to prove his point, and got as far as pushing himself up on his elbows. Last thing he needs now is Arthur knowing he's been seeing ghosts.

Orrick eyed him thoughtfully. He wondered why the boy was so vehement about it.

"Alright." – the man gave in after some thinking.

"Thank you.." - Merlin nodded, his voice a mere whisper. He pushed himself up and the other two stepped back to give him room. - "T-thank you.. for y-your kindness, my lord.." – the boy mumbled and felt silly for some reason.

"It's alright." - the man smiled slightly. - "Can you walk?"

_What an interesting question.._ He nodded after giving it some thought, and stood up. Wobbling a little, but he remained on his feet.

"Very well." - The man nodded then turned to his servant. - "Obert, accompany Merlin back to his chambers." – and he didn't even need to finish the sentence, the boy was already at his side; and later on, once again, the young warlock was thankful for Orrick's thoughtfulness.

He needed all his attention to focus on walking, so no words or signals were made throughout their small journey. Obert would peek at him from time to time, but the manservant didn't care this time. His whole body felt cold and numb. Passing a staircase Merlin spotted the gray glimmer again, but this time he shut his eyes tight and covered them with his right.

He only realized he was about to fall when he felt Obert grab his left arm and swung it around his neck to support him.

"Than..kyo..u…" - he mumbled and let himself be led to the court physicians chambers.

The old man looked on astonished at the two of them arriving.

"Merlin! What happened?" - but the boy just shook his head and didn't say anything. He let himself be led to the table and took a seat on the bench. continuously looking down.

The ginger boy gave him one more concerned look and a weak encouraging smile with a slight bow towards the physician and soon he closed the door behind him, and it was just the two residents again.

Gaius looked at his ward in shock.

Merlin was shaking, looked deadly pale and wouldn't look up.

"Ill make us some tea.." – he physician said after snapping out of the initial surprise and wrapped a blanket around his wards shoulders before going to see to the teapot.

Merlin knew he will have to tell his guardian what had happened and what he had seen, but couldn't bring himself to talk just yet. Even opening his mouth seemed like unimaginable effort.

"Drink your tea. It will warm you up." – the old man suggested and the young warlock obediently drank.

Merlin felt the tea fill him with warmness once more, his nervous insides settled, his shaking hands let off the trembling and fingers warmed up; and his shoulders felt to ease up, he felt so comfortably warm again.

And he started to talk. He slowly told Gaius what had happened; not quite recalling it in chronological order, but he told him of Orrick and Obert, then of the glimmer had been seeing in the past few days, then a bit more quietly the pyre he saw.. feeling shivers running on his back again. He left out the Lady Lictina. It just felt too embarrassing. Also left out Agravaine; he was probably still looking for rats in his chambers. In other times it would've seemed humorous but Merlin felt anything but laughing at that moment. now warm, he felt even more drowsy and tired.

"We.. really need to look more into it." – he was talking slow and calm. – "If indeed the spell causes hallucinations, how will I know how to tell apart the real visions from the fake ones."

"Well I did find a parchment today, while you were out." – said the old man and stood to retrieve it, but the young man cut him off.

"No.. Really, it's enough if we look at it tomorrow.. I had enough share of horrors and visions for tonight."

"Alright." – Gaius said and stopped, looking at his ward; he noted the few drops of calming serum he slipped into his tea were working nicely.

"Perhaps we should go to bed then." – he suggested.

"Yes.. That sounds very good." – the boy mumbled and stood up after a few seconds, realizing he wasn't wobbling anymore. - "Good night Gaius.." – he said walking towards his room, still wrapped in the blanket, as the old man looked on, but then he stopped on the stairs and turned back.

"Gaius.. what do you suppose they were talking about? Something in the vaults? Something that is under Arthur's nose and he doesn't see it.."

"Well, I would guess." – the old man thought for a moment then looked at his ward. – "They were talking about _you_, Merlin."


	17. Chapter 17

**Fillers..fillers..ugh.._*facedesk* _I had the unpleasant experience of thinking my USB got lost and typed up scenes like mad, so it took me some more time then I anticipated to comb through the 'salad' of texts, but _yay!_ success! And worry not, the USB and all pre-writtens and notes of this fic are**** safe and sound! _*phew*_**

******I'm really happy about all the attention ch.16 got! 9 reviews! Wow! Thank you so much! :"3 Warms my heart~ You folks really liked that ey? :P Hope you will like the upcoming chapters as well. I'm busy busy busy typing :) Here's 17 for ye.. Hope you will like and review.. **

**Enjoy~**

_"..about _you_, Merlin."_

He kept mulling over his guardians' words, staring out at the night sky, padded with dark clouds, only few start visible in the cracks here and there.

If it really was the case then the two men somehow knew of his magic. It made him feel uneasy; vulnerable.

But they _haven't_ told Arthur_. - Yet.._

More so they _have_ helped him.. - _For now.. _

He hated it but he was paranoid over it. As much as he wanted magic to be accepted, it made him feel tense when anyone knew about it; knew about _him_.

People who knew had a tendency to die on him.. In a rush of thoughts he recalled just who those were and he felt sadness grip into his heart. He let out a sigh and glanced to the side from the window.

He didn't want to think about that. Not now. He had to focus…

And of course there were the numerous enemies that gave him a hard time from time to time … _no, he didn't want to think about those either._

He let out a huff, trying to organize his thoughts.

.

He felt strangely _calm_, yet strangely distracted; his mind easily drifting off to any roaming thought, but not being able to stick to them either. He figured he was just tired. The sight of the pyre crept up on him and he winced, rapidly pushing it away, squeezing his eyes shut, in fear of spotting something in his room that normally would not be there. He pulled the blanket over his face and the warmness underneath felt good for a while. He needed fresh air though, so he turned to lay on his back, idly running his hand across his chest; it was at a constant burning sensation; low and persisting, sometimes he would even forget about it. He feared he will actually grow accustomed to it.

He sniffed the evening air and wondered where he left his thoughts at.

.

Recalling those words, _"he has the right to know"_, it made him tense again and thinking back, the whole conversation seemed to have a second meaning to it. He wondered if it was like that or just his overworked mind made it appear that way.

Surely, they didn't want him to tell Arthur about his magic; _did they..?_ It wasn't something anyone could force. Now was not the time. Arthur wasn't ready! Camelot wasn't ready! Hell, _he_ wasn't ready..!

He was worried and his mind easily ran off to potential shouting that would ensure if the prince would find out about his own manservant harboring magical secrets. Not to mention execution.. He shook his head slightly, as if it would make the thought go away faster for he knew it would get him feeling incredibly down if he lingers on it far too log..

Not that he was particularly happy at that moment..

He shifted and turned to his other side, leaving those thoughts behind him and staring at the wall instead.

.

Then there was that _"Delicate balance" _he overheard them mentioning. Just what kind of balance was he talking about? Merlin wondered what that could mean; he felt anything _but_ balanced right now, but there was no way for the Crowholdt men to know that; or the '_gray glimmer'_ issue he was facing. Though certainly _that_ was a balance issue.. And he wasn't even progressing. Sure, he saw a bunch of creepy stuff, that even made him.. _flip out a little_. Two guests found him unconscious and had carried him to 'safety' because he passed out of.. _fear. _Of those _things.._ He felt embarrassed. He squeezed his eyes shut again. He realized he doesn't even know what all that was. The pyre looked familiar though, but the faces.. he shivered.

He started looking for some other, _friendlier_ thoughts to wonder about.

He had felt tired and sleepy but his mind refused to let him rest.

There was a sudden low growling sound coming from the skies and it made him flinch and turn towards the window in a jolt. Then let out a sigh as he saw the clouds gathering, knowing a storm might be just raindrops away. He turned back and pulled the blanket higher on his shoulder.

_Great, now he's getting scared of storms._

.

Maybe he should call and ask Kilgharrah. All this was starting to grow into something that is likely to swallow him whole if he won't manage to get out of it fast enough. Surely the dragon could prove to be of some help - _of course he would lecture him first - _but he would help; or just give some pointers; even if in riddles.

_But.. not tonight._ The promising storm didn't look too inviting. The last thing his all aching body now needs is a cold. - A _real one_ this time, to top it all off. Furthermore, as he felt his body relax, he started to have a feeling there was something more in his tea then just chamomile.

_"Drink your tea. It will warm you up."_

"Right" - He couldn't help but smile a little. There certainly was more to that tea. He drifted off to sleep.

.

The night hasn't been kind to Merlin. For the first few hours he slept well, but then the sickly glowing figures crept into his dreams and filled it with horrors that made the boy wake up several times, either in sweat or coughs, or even the storm outside sneaking its' thunders and lightnings into the troubled warlocks dreams, at one time even having his guardian wake him up giving him something, saying how his coughing in his sleep and "_waking the whole castle while at it."_

_._

The morning started out no different; waking to a floating dragon figure in front of him and a gray glimmer, to which he jolted out of bed to grab his small gift from his father, but started coughing in the same time. Unnoticed, he stepped on the half-lifted floorboard, which then let way to his foot and he quickly and painfully landed on the ground holding the small carving out of harms way in his fall. It took him a few minutes to gain control over his lungs, eventually forcing deep breaths down his sore throat, he managed to stop coughing.

_What the hell was that?_

He pulled his foot out of the hole in the floor and sat up leaning against the wall, giving himself a few more minutes for his breathing to return to normal. Then he re-wrapped the figure into the piece of cloth he kept it in. He was sure the floorboard wasn't moved when he went to bed.

_But.. when… how.. the glimmer knew where he kept it?!_ - He peered into the small hole but saw the spell book in place. He put the dragon figure back next to it and the floorboard over it, and wondered for a second if he should find a new hiding place for those; _seems even ghosts know where it is now._

After the initial shock he sat on the ground and tried to gather his thoughts. Pulled the leg of his trouser up to inspect if the fall had caused any bruise, and found only some scratches, he ran his hand across it and kept thinking.

Just what did the gray glimmer want with his carved dragon? And he could have sworn he heard _laughter_ before it vanished.

He was confused. Not that this state was anything new to him over the passed few days.

He looked out the window and figured he might as well start the day.

.

Merlin had no idea what awaited him once he stepped out his room, but he had a feeling it won't be anything ordinary.


	18. Chapter 18

_**"Some times I feel like I'm being pulled in so many directions I don't know which way to turn!" - **_**Oh gosh, do I know how that feels... As funny as the comparison is, it kept me from writing, so many many apologies for the delay.. Longer than usual chapter too! :D To make up for the waiting! ;) Hope you like how this story goes :) Reviews, feedback, welcomed.**

**Enjoy~**

He found the main chamber in silence.

"Gaius?" – getting no answer he figured the physician was away. He became even more certain of this once reaching the table and noticing a parchment on it. He picked up an apple and bit into it before taking the paper and starting to read it.

Gaius left him a note, saying he's been called to a patient in the early hours and isn't sure when he will be getting back; he had left some breakfast for Merlin, and also noting there will be a small boy coming around with some herbs and he should not forget to meet the him; mentioning that the herb in question is betony.

"Oah.. thank the Gods..!" – Merlin exhaled with a full mouth and put the parchment down. He never would've thought a basket of betony would make him so happy one day. Gaius could make coughing potion from it. _At last!_

He swallowed hard. His throat hurt bad, but he was hungry, his stomach demanding with a low growl, that he make up for last night's missed meal. He peeked out the window and noted he still had time until fetching Arthur's breakfast. He settled, putting the apple down and took the tablecloth off the plate, his guardian left for him.

The next minute however he jumped back in repulsion, chocking on the piece of apple he still had in his mouth and knocking his chair back, and staggering a few steps behind; for what he saw filled him with horror.

For a second, he thought he saw small eyeballs crawling with ants and a yellow block of cheese full of worms of various sizes and sickly brownish yellowish colors; but the second look revealed to him that in fact it was just a small clove of grapes and a harmless piece of cheese. Nonetheless he lost his appetite, by the time he managed to stop choking on the apple.

_The spell. –_ he didn't need to think twice about it.

He let out a slight moan of pain stroking his chest; it was burning with renewed strength, feeling like it was sucking the strength out of him; or rather _in_ him_, _as his shoulders would feel weak from time to time, all his energy draining and being consumed by the pain.

He grabbed a mug to get some water, but the next minute he shook that out of his grip as well, feeling a tickle and seeing a large centipede starting to crawl out of it towards his hand. He yelped and saw it shatter on the ground – he wasn't all that surprised when there was no sign of the insect among the broken pieces.

Merlin ran his hand across his face looking at the debris. _Some day this is going to be._ But least he was certain now, that the spell was indeed working; he just had a bad feeling it might be more then he bargained for. A very bad feeling indeed.

He gave off a sigh and covered up the plate; figuring he can eat it later. His stomach was too upset for it now, with nausea washing over him in waves, and he doubted he could swallow anything right now.

He then cleaned up the mess and left to tend to his chores.

.

"You're late." – he growled into the bedding.

"How would you know? Your eyes aren't even open yet."

"I've been awake for some time now, Merlin."

"Yet you couldn't manage to get out of bed on your own."

"Oh, you're cheery today." – Arthur peered at him, then got up just enough to aim the pillow straight at his manservant.

Merlin didn't have time to duck and the pillow landed straight in his face, once he turned away from opening the curtains. He gave the young man a glare, then picked up and tossed the pillow back.

The king-to-be got out of bed, and as the dark haired boy helped him with the morning to-dos' and getting dressed, it didn't elude him that his manservant was indeed a little tense and more quiet then usual. Actually, quiet-Merlin was almost inexistent in the morning hours, and Arthur found that to be extremely annoying, thinking he would just never shut up. But this time he was quiet alright. So much so that it was becoming suspicious.

"Something happened?"

"What? No?" – Merlin said plainly while trying to ignore the fact that Arthur's belt looked like a snake trying to wrap itself around the young man, for a glimpse of time.

Arthur took some grapes and started eating them walking around in his chambers; Merlin turned his head away sharply once spotting the candleholder wanting to bite Arthurs hand off. _This is going to be difficult; _he figured.

"Another day, Merlin. Full of potentials." – the prince wondered, looking out through the window, as the boy made his bed. (Lucky the prince didn't see him flinch when spotting spiders under the covers, which of course then turned out to not really be there).

"Yes, well, you should have your breakfast, before it potentially goes bad." – he talked back and carefully fluffed the pillows, not really wanting to lift them in fear of what he might see, or _think to see_ under them.

Arthur figured he won't be getting his servant to talk, but he was confident the young man will come around. _After all, Merlin is horrible at keeping secrets._ – he smirked to himself as he sat down to have his breakfast.

"Merlin, how's the rat hunt going?" – Arthur asked a little later.

"Uhm… good?" – the boy replied somewhat confused. He didn't remember telling Arthur anything about rats.

"Because, my uncle told me to watch out for rats; he also mentioned you were peering into a room of one of the guests, claiming to be looking for rats.." – the prince said eyeing his servants' every move.

"Well.." – Merlin stopped and his shoulders tensed a little and Arthur took it as encouragement to continue with his inquisition; certain, that he was on the right track.

Little did he know that the manservant, who had his back towards him, was in fact staring wide-eyed at the side of the prince's bed, more so the pale white hand that was resting on the floor, leaning out from under Arthur's bed, and he dreaded to move; completely lost as to what to do. Should he ignore it, and move on? He wasn't sure the thing won't jump up and attack as soon as he turns his back on it; or should he walk up to it and peek under the bed to see 'the rest of it'? Though no doubt he would scream no matter what he does find – or doesn't – under the bed.

The thing that made shivers run up and down his spine, was the fact that it _still was_ there. He's been seeing things all morning, but those were mere flashes and would disappear as he blinked, but not this one. This one was there and was not moving – _Gods forbid, it move _– and it just wasn't vanishing like the rest so far. Merlin felt cold sweat run down on the side of his neck and he just stared at it. The hand just rested there. Looked to be woman's hand, but surely Arthur would have noticed if there was a female body laying around under his bed. But no, Merlin was certain it wasn't real; he was sure it wasn't there a little while ago; but it just wasn't disappearing…

"You were spying on Orrick weren't you?" – Arthur's voice made him snap out of it and took his gaze off of the apparition; he turned around to face his master.

"There's.. something off about them" – he said slowly. Peering back, he relaxed a little that the hand was gone.

The prince looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're paranoid." – he said.

_Merlin wondered why everyone keeps saying that to him._

"I really think you should be more careful, that's all."

"And why is that, Merlin?" – Arthur asked with slight irk in his voice, but still somewhat curious. From time to time his manservant would say something bright, perhaps this was one of those times. He noted to himself, he should go a bit easy on the interrogation though; noticing Merlin looked a little pale already.

"We don't know anything about these people…"

"That much is true. But I see Crowholdt to be a place of value. And as my uncle and as everyone else keeps telling me, I need to get allies for Camelot. I see no harm in the approach of a smaller kingdom."

"Well, then why hasn't your father ever mentioned it's existence? They sure know about him." – the manservant asked and stepped closer to him; _(and further away from the bed)._

That was a valid point, no argument there.

"Because.. " – Arthur thought._ Why hasn't he indeed?_ – "Perhaps he found it to be too small to take in consideration."

"Or perhaps he had his reasons.." – Merlin wondered what got into him to actually side with Uther on an argument; _not that it was the first, but it just felt weird._

He pondered his options.

He could tell Arthur about what he found out about Crowholdt Manor, and what that place really is; but that might endanger their guests, which he didn't want. Whatever this Awarnach wanted, the two men didn't seem to be the kind of people that meant harm to them. If they wanted to, they have had plenty opportunities to do so already, and they didn't.. Unless they want him out of the castle, which then again was another matter.

Or just not tell anything and let things unfold..

Arthur was still looking at him, thinking.

"Won't know, unless I go and find out.."

"If you say so." – Merlin let out a sigh. – "Wait, you're actually considering going there?!" - he picked his head up. _Damn it Arthur! Why can't you just let go of it?!_

"Why not?" – the prince shrugged. _I need to get out of the castle, else I'll go insane. _– he added to himself and stood up to walk around in his chamber.

"You can't just leave! Not now! What.. what of the guests? And the meetings?" - Merlin could tell he was working himself up over this, but couldn't control it. That irrational anger just crept up in him and he had no way of putting a leash on it. He wasn't feeling all too well, he was now seeing things and he certainly wasn't in the mood for outside naps and trips to watch Arthur's back while in such condition. Why can't the prat just stay put for once?

"Agravaine can take care of it. They are leaving soon anyway."

Merlin stood staring at him and it was starting to make Arthur uncomfortable.

"What of the people?"

"What about them?"

"They will see a king that walks away to distractions and abandons his duties."

"_Mer_lin, my father is still _alive_. I am not yet king."

"But you will be one day. A great king.. Unless you don't decide to wander off to unknown hidden kingdoms and get yourself killed."

"What on earth are you talking about?" – Arthur snapped then gave him a perplexed look as Merlin was again wearing a stunned, almost scared look and his eyes were glued to somewhere behind and above the prince for a second or two. The young man couldn't help but turn around and look at the window behind him. He saw nothing of the horrid dangling rope Merlin saw above his head, of course; instead he saw movement in the courtyard.

"I'm.. I'm saying.. you are being a spoiled prat." – the servant gasped once the apparition disappeared after a few second linger. – "You can't just walk away from your duties whenever the hell you feel like it. Like it or not, you got responsibilities, now that your father is.."

"Merlin. I'm warning you." – Arthur cut in, slowly stepping up to the dark haired boy.

"Well he isn't doing much more then the vegetables he's getting with his meals!" – the warlock blurted out, and blinked at his own words. _That wasn't him. That just wasn't him at all.._

There was a slap.

And then there was silence.

Merlin's left cheek burnt bright red where Arthur's palm had collided with it.

Alright. He deserved that. He didn't even know how he got to be so tense to begin with. He didn't say a word just looked at the prince.

"I don't know what has gotten into you. But if you ever, _ever,_ behave like that again I will make sure _you'd wish_ you'd stay in the stocks for the rest of your life." – Arthur said slowly, clearly having a hard time but managing with more success at calming himself then the warlock. He looked at him for a bit then walked off.

"..Arthur..." – Merlin mumbled barely breathing – "I.. S-sorry.. I..don't know.." – he turned around to face the prince, but wasn't sure what to say. The blonde stopped and turned back; it took him slightly aback how Merlin seemed to be trembling and shaken, with his mouth slightly open, yet no words coming out.

"I know." – he said slowly. – "I know, it is frustrating to see him in that state, it is hard for me too. He ruled with a firm grip on Camelot and always knew how to handle situations and tackle problems head on; and now I am up in front and it feels to be .. so.. _so much_. I understand how you feel, Merlin. I understand if you are scared that things are slipping from under control, but.. please .. I _need _to get out of the castle.. for even a little while, or I will.. I will.. snap." – Arthur said and his manservant stood in silence. - "I can't be like my father was.."

Merlin only cared about Uther as far as Arthur's state of mind went, but if that's what Arthur believed, then so be it. He _will_ be king one day, but a crazy king won't cut it. He will just have to buckle up somehow.

The prince let out an annoyed sigh and waved a hand at him.

"Come on. The patrol is back." – he said and went on.

Merlin stood around for a few more seconds, wondering if his mood was influenced by the spell as well. He felt incredibly ashamed. He will have time to mull over things later, he figured; and rushed to catch up to the prince, but as Arthur opened the door and peered back at him, Merlin saw the all too familiar gray apparition run passed the opening and as always he began to gasp for air.

Arthur walked out just then and his servant staggered after him, but didn't get further then the door.


	19. Chapter 19

**Long wait for you folks this time, I apologize. I had some health issues (grr) and they kept me from writing as much as I'd wanted. Thank you all for the lovely reviews and response to this story so far. I'm really glad you like it! :P Keep up the feedback! They make me happy and grant me the willpower to write!**

**Happy Merlin watching tonight for those of you who can! **

**And on with the fic.. Enjoy~**

Had it been a cold; _yes_, he would have told, and Arthur would know.

But _this_? Seeing things, hallucinating, being chased about by a ghost that makes him choke at every corner and all this because of _magic_? – that there was a whole new level of _illegal_ in Camelot. So Merlin fought to keep on his feet as well as to cling to reality, no doubt he will have a lot to explain to Arthur if he fails to do so.

His throat stung and burnt and it felt like it wants to rip itself apart, with insides protesting to their mere existence and Merlin gripped the doorknob and held onto it as if his dear life depended on it; as if it would keep him on his feet, and with air in his aching lungs - he held on with a hand as he struggled to do both.

Eventually he fell onto his knees and the world was wobbling dangerously in front of his watering eyes; he steadied himself with a hand on the ground.

He heard shouting and someone grabbed his shoulder.

_No, no, no.. _– he put all his strength into not passing out. _No now, damn it.. _Merlin held his hand up, slightly shaking the grip off of him, in a halting motion signaling _"I'll be fine just give me a moment"_. Knights had a tendency to solve problems with force. Gods forbid, Arthur would give Merlin a slap on the back, the warlock was sure he would pass out there and then.

However that _"give me a moment"_ was probably stretching on too long for the prince's liking, because the next minute he disappeared only to return with a cup of water and held it in front of the boy.

Merlin forced a few deep breaths even though it felt like his throat just doesn't want air passing through and accepted the cup. He couldn't take it fast enough for Arthur not to see how much his hand was shaking. He took a few gulps of the fresh cool liquid, knowing all too well how calming the sensation will feel, then to be followed by that ache as it went down his gullet, painfully searing its way to his stomach. He coughed once again then, but not giving it more time he feverishly downed the rest of the water then gasped for air some more. The next minute however he felt the all too familiar nausea come around and the water rising.

_Oh no you don't.._ he swallowed hard to keep the water down. Last thing he needs now is to throw up on the prince's boots. - He dreaded to look up at Arthur as it was.

Finally his breathing was more like breathing, - well, panting, - but still less like a struggle. He set the cup down on the ground with a small clang; "Tha..ks.." – he said with a rasp breath then pulled the sleeve of his shirt over his hand and wiped his face with it; there was sweat and tears and he felt lightheaded. He sat on his heels, leaning on the ground and just staring at the stone floor in front of him, focusing on his breathing, but he could feel the prince's glare on him of how he was crouched down next to him – realizing that last part just then.

"You coughed like this last night too." – Arthur declared and clearly there were unspoken questions behind that sentence; that waited for Merlin to give answer to.

The manservant tensed and looked up at him, expecting him to be cross, but as much as Prince Arthur looked uptight, there was a hint of concern on his face as well.

"I ..j..ust got a.. a.. sore th. throat…"

"Sore throat? You nearly passed out!"

"I did _n-not_!" – he protested, straightening his back slightly. He contemplated getting up, to prove his point, but felt it was too early for that, and the prince didn't rush him either.

Arthur just stared at him; he too remained next to the young man.

"It will be.. fine, Arthur. Really." – he tried to sound as convincing as he could.

"Did Gaius have a look at you?"

"Of course he had." – Merlin blurted out and bit his tongue almost adding "_He can't sleep at night because of me! Of course he had a look at me.._" He felt guilty upon realizing that. – "He's making medicine for it. There was an outbreak of some sort and he needed to bring the medicine with him, so he was out."

"Outbreak?" – Arthur furrowed his brow. – "That was last week.." - and slowly a realization started to form in his mind and it was clear on his expression as well as his jaw clenched.

"Since when?" – he asked with a firm tone.

The young warlock looked at the prince with a slight fright in his eyes, like a child that's just been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

_"Mer_lin! Since _when_?" - the prince urged him.

"Just a few days.. " – he said quietly, then hurriedly added to save himself – "Honestly, the potion takes a bit of time to make, but it will help when its ready; won't take longer then a day or two. It's just a sore throat!"

It seemed he was getting a grip on things again, but then something else caught Merlin's attention.

Out of nowhere, there was a figure running across the room. No bigger then a cat, but shaped like he never seen before. It didn't have legs; looking at the crippled and curved snags of legs and bones he was dragging after _him(?)_, surely those can't count as legs; but it certainly had human features; a horrid human grimace with bulging yellow eyes on a dirty deformed bald head, ribs very visible through the yellowish reddish sickly skin, dragging his body after him on thin bony arms, _all six of them_.. yes, six arms, all starting from the same shoulder and it hurried through across the room, running on its large palms like some giant gruesome spider. Briefly looked at Merlin, with a threatening grimace and tongue sticking out and ran off to vanish under Arthur's bed.

Merlin felt the blood leave his face.

_"Oh hell.."_ – he whispered with a deep shaky voice. He was shivering and once again feared losing control over his upset stomach; he swallowed again to keep the rising water down.

"Oh hell is right!" – Arthur snapped at him, taking a glimpse in his bed's direction, where his manservant looked. – "And don't you dare change the subject to rats, Merlin! When were you planning to tell me you're not well?"

The manservant looked at him dazed, as if only realizing at that moment that Arthur was there too. _Now _he felt like passing out, he was shivering so much. A sore throat seemed to be the least of his worries, and Arthur was just becoming ridiculous compared to .. to that.. _thing_.

"It.. wasn't important.. I can manage.." - He just shook his head and looked at the cup on he ground instead, figuring staring at something simple would calm his mind, but immediately deciding it was a bad idea, once he saw a rather large cockroach climb out of it and disappear somewhere over the edge. – He swallowed hard again, and came to the conclusion, that he _will _retch all over Arthur's boots if this silly inquisition carries on for much longer.

"The lake." – the prince suddenly said.

Merlin picked his head up, briefly meeting the young man's eyes, then just slowly gave a nod.

"Merlin! That was quite a while ago! Why.."

"Because you have enough to worry about now!" - he cut in. – "There was no need for you to know. I can manage.." – his voice trailed off to a mumble.

"Merlin, if there's one thing.."

Just then there was a knock and Agravaine showed up at the door, a little surprised that it was open, then he became even more surprised at the scene in front of him.

"Sire? The patrol has ar..rived." – he said and trailed off once seeing the prince and his servant; on their knees; on the ground.

"Yes, I noticed." – Arthur hissed between his teeth. He pinched the bridge of his nose then glared once more at his manservant. His uncle stood around curiously looking at them. Arthur then realized it will take him some other time and some more work to corner Merlin again to answering; he will surely not say anything with anyone else around.

"We're not done yet.." – he said threateningly and stood, pulling Merlin to his feet, who for some reason still kept glaring at the ground, even after he picked up the cup.

"Let's go." – the prince said picking up his cape and walked out from his chambers giving only but a brief nod towards his uncle as he tossed the cloak around his shoulders and fiddled with the buckle.

Merlin set the cup next to the pitcher and went to follow the prince, when he noticed Agravaine was still standing in the doorway, the older man no doubt wondering why his nephew scolded his servant.

He looked up and it took him al his strength to control himself and not to give away what he saw.

Agravaine had a face Merlin would recall of a gargoyle having; bulging red eyes rolling and an almost inhuman vicious grin that made his breath stop. He swallowed again; feeling not only the water but his heart beating in his throat as well.

The lord looked at him furrowing his brows.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, my lord." – he bowed. – "I recalled of some duties I have. Forgive me." - and rushed passed him.

"Boy!" – he heard the man call out after him.

Merlin stopped and hesitantly turned around persistently looking at the man's feet. A thought crossed his mind, wondering how his boots got muddy when he knew the man had no reason to leave the castle for any field trips or forest walks, but then he spoke again.

"The rats. I haven't found any."

"Oh, I know, my traps work, my Lord." – the manservant said, forcing a weak smile, looking up at him only briefly.

"Well done." – said Agravaine; having the same horrific face.

The boy bowed again and hurried off.

_What was that? The true face of Lord Agravaine?_ He felt a slight sweat form on his temples.

.

It was only when they got to the courtyard Merlin realized just what awaits him there. The pyre, dough more faint then it's surroundings, was still tall and burning with no sound of fire; ropes and bodies and hooked chains dangling from out of nowhere above and around it and he would hear the screams faintly.. - And Arthur was heading straight towards it; and Merlin knew he had to follow his prince.


	20. Chapter 20

_**"It will be an empty world without you, young warlock.."**_**- I find Kilgharrah's words to be more sad now than ever. **

**Two more episodes to go and we shall call it a wrap and 'Merlin-day', over time, will have to become something else. It's come a long way and I am sure it gave many people many things; whether it was lessons, or tears, or laughter, or made interest rise for Arthurian legends, we all gained so much from this wonderful show. I am happy I watched it. It propelled me to write once again; and this time not just for the drawer of my desk, but for actual people; who read and think and comment and give feedback on many levels on my writing; and most of all, share a common passion, that is "Merlin" and writing fanfiction. **

**So, thank you "Merlin", and thank you dear readers. I will continue to write, because 'I'll try not to be sad that it ended, I'll try to be happy that it happened', and I'll keep writing, because only that way, can we keep the_ love_ of it and the feeling of it _alive._**

**_Apologies for my lateness.. _**

**On with the fic! Read! Review! Enjoy~!**

**.*.*.*.**

He came to a sudden halt, not being able to take his eyes off of it. The screams were faint but they were there, and the pyre stood tall and proud in the courtyard; burning, yet no sound of wood crackling in the flames.

It didn't look _as _scary in daylight – he tried to convince himself, while wondering how odd it was to see a ghostly pyre with dangling corpses around it at all at daytime.

There were people carrying about sacks of grain and baskets with fruits, pushing small carts of firewood; with general chatter in the air; and just getting on with the usual chores of the day, starting early at it. None of them seemed to mind the dead bodies hanging in the air; none was bothered by the glimmers running around the pyre. Some even walked right through it without as much as a flinch. – Merlin figured he envied those people for not seeing it; but then again, even if he _was_ seeing it, was it real at all? It was all becoming very confusing..

He shivered looking at it, but was glad the effect wasn't as striking as it was last night – _he certainly wouldn't be able to talk himself out of that one on the excuse of a sore throat.._

"Merlin?" – Arthur turned once noticing his manservant not walking with him.

"Sorry, I was looking for someone.." – he mumbled and picking up his pace he hurried down the stairs, while the prince watched him with furrowed brows.

"Throat?" – he asked with suspicion in his voice.

"No, I'm fine." – the boy said convincingly, and the blonde started walking once again, and he followed.

Coming closer to the apparition, Merlin took a deep breath and stepped up to walk a little closer to Arthur - _for some reason_ – hoping the young man won't notice.

There was something about it that wouldn't let his gaze drop from the gruesome sight, and it took him some effort to make himself turn his head; he instead looked down in front of his feet, but it didn't help as he would see faces rise and show and turn towards him from the stones and he felt uneasy even to step on them. He had the impression he was walking on glass and he was just seeing smoke under it; and over it; swarming, shaping faces, mimicking silent threats and screams at him and fading back into the twisting, curling haze. There were also small balls of sickly glimmers floating about, and he could feel the cold emanating from them whenever they got too close to his feet; at one point his ankle going numb from one of them simply gliding through his foot. He felt perspiration forming on his neck and temples and the odd shivers running through his body; he decided to look at Arthur's back instead. Surely he won't do anything "unusual". To Merlin's surprise, looking at Arthur actually had a calming effect on him. The man walked with a straight back and head held high; confident and noble; with all the right traits a king-to-be needed to have.

Merlin could still see the apparitions from the corner of his eyes - the courtyard was full of them, - but they seemed dimmed. He could still feel the cold around him, but it was no different then early mornings' walk.

He focused on Arthur's cape. It seemed that cape was safety against all; and all he wanted was to hide under it, wrap himself in it and hide away from the horrible side of the world that was now showing itself to him_. - It surprised him to have such a thought, it felt very unlike his own, almost childish._

_"Two sides of the same coin" – _he figured, somehow, that had something to do with it, but he was happy to grip onto any kind of relief; it even reminded him of the time Lancelot covered him with his own knight's cape when he was attached by the Dorocha. It had a feeling of safety he couldn't quite explain.

However that little ease only lasted until he noticed darker red shapes form and grow on Arthur's back as if it were blood. He knew for sure Arthur wasn't injured, he didn't show signs of injuries either.

_Oh Gods.._ – he mumbled to himself looking away again, trying to find something else to look at that wouldn't turn on him.

He caught sight of Orrick and Obert on the other side of the courtyard – now both of them had that same look as the servant did he first day they arrived to Camelot.

_Great, now he has two people staring at him._ - Merlin thought, then nodded to them and smiled a little. He figured he should just let them believe he was up and well, it wouldn't be too good if they tell Arthur of his little incident last night; despite them promising they wont.. well Orrick promised, Obert… whatever. Arthur wouldn't understand a word or signal Obert makes; _how would the prat? Sometimes he doesn't even understand words spoken to him. _– He felt getting irritated just by thinking about it.

"Sir Gwaine. Sir Leon." – Arthur nodded at the dismounting knights.

"Good morning, Sire." – Leon smiled. Gwaine only nodded.

"What news?"

"We ran into some bandits, nothing serious though." – said Gwaine – "Not anymore at least." – he added lightly, and Merlin wondered if they should start to worry over how easily Gwaine tends to brush that particular topic off whenever they meet brigands on patrol.

"The stream of the river up north is slightly higher then it normally is. Perhaps the recent rain in the mountains is at fault. A nearby village might need some assistance if it continues to grow." – Leon continued.

Arthur pondered for a second then opened his mouth to give further instructions about giving aid to the village, then something of a meeting, but Merlin's attention trailed off again from their conversation, and something pulled him to look at the pyre once again. It was burning; large flames licking the hay and pole and wood, but there was none on it. It reminded him of something, it was all too familiar. He gasped slightly as one glimmer glided though him slightly higher then his ankle and he felt a chilling cold in his thigh, which made him twitch and gasp, but quickly masked it as a yawn when the knights looked at him. Arthur rolled his eyes and looked back at his knights.

They continued talking while he continued thinking. The pyre looked the same as the one Uther had made for Gaius; or the one he had made for Gwen; the same on which he was to take her place on, back then disguised as Dragoon, and that time he almost ended up on it; – he felt incredibly angry just remembering that, and he felt cold, shivering cold, the sweat on his back not helping either. Then he realized something, but before he could ponder about it more, someone grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and tugged at it, making him jump and yelp quite spectacularly.

"S-sorry…sir…" – a small boy mumbled a little scared himself. He looked shocked at the servant, hugging a basket that was about the same size as he was.

The knights were following the scene curiously.

"What?"

"This be the herbs the physician asked for." - said the peasant boy - "Told me to bring 'em 'ere. Told me to look for a lanky man with a neckerchief." – the child said getting a better grip on the large basket he was holding and straightening his back; written on him was how aware he is of the importance of his job.

"Right.." – Merlin recalled Gaius's note and took the basket from the boy, all the while he tried to ignore the giggling Gwaine mumbling "lanky man" to himself.. – "Thank you" – he said and the boy ran off without another word.

The young warlock lifted the lid slightly and peered inside. Arthur only saw herbs in it, Merlin on the other hand seemed to get ecstatic about it.

"_Oah! _Thank the Gods!" – he exhaled – "They sure took their time picking it…" – he added with a slight growl I his tone.

"What was that all about?" – the prince asked.

"Betony. Gaius was expecting it for a while now," – he explained then added, more to himself then the others. – "..and frankly, so have I."

"You jumped like someone slapped you." – Arthur remarked.

"He just startled me, that's all." - the manservant shrugged.

"He was calling out to you.." – Gwaine lifted a brow at him.

"I didn't hear him."

"You know your eyes are pretty red. Are you feeling alright?" – Leon spoke.

"Yes!"

"Have you been out drinking?" – Gwaine asked.

Merlin looked at him incredulously with pursed lips.  
"Merlin?" – Arthur frowned and turned to face him completely, as if the statement would actually make sense, considering the amount of times Gaius said he was visiting the tavern.

"Of course I have, Sire!" – he snapped sarcastically and Arthurs brows went up while Gwaine looked on with slight amusement.

"Really?" – the knight asked hopefully.

Merlin was about to open his mouth to reply to that when someone else spoke.

"Good morning, Sire. My lords." – they didn't notice the person approaching them until she greeted them with a curtsy. It was the Lady Lictina's maid, - wearing now something that actually suited her, a simple light blue dress, with a pale yellow scarf around her shoulders to protect her from the morning chill.

"Good morning." – Arthur turned towards her showing her one of his more charming smiles.

"Forgive me, Sire, it has gotten awfully cold in my lady's chambers, she sent me to ask if it would be possible to have some firewood brought and the fire be lit in her room."

"Of course!" – the prince said then looked at his manservant. – "Merlin will take care of it."

"Thank you, Sire" – the maid smiled, bowed and left.

Merlin was staring after her, then glared at the confused prince.

"Go on. Bring some wood and start the fire up." – Arthur gave him a verbal nudge.

"Do I have to?"

_"What?"_

"Nothing" - he shook his head feeling a glimmer get too close to his feet again and sweat running down the back of his neck. - "Going to take this up to Gaius first." - Merlin gripped the basket and strode towards the stairs in a hurry.

"Of course." - Arthur sais somewhat confused while looking at the young man, as he ran off with the basket of herbs.

"What's up with Merlin?" - Gwaine asked.

"He's got a sore throat.."

Then they saw the slouched servant make an awkwardly huge turn around the courtyard going around by the wall instead of just walking straight across to the other entrance.

"Why is he acting so strange?"

"What do you mean? He's always acting strange." – Arthur tried to brush it off, but as he looked on, he had a bad feeling about him.

.*.

"Firewood.. firewood.." - he growled to himself.

Since he overheard their little conversation, Merlin was a bit uneasy about this whole firewood thing, more so that he saw the lady's maid walk the other direction, then where Lady Lictina's temporary residence actually was.

Peering in her direction for a second there was an abnormally large white dog walking along next to her, before it vanished again.

Merlin shook his head and concentrated on getting to the physician's chamber instead of trying to figure out the apparitions and ghosts the castle had suddenly became populated with. _– Or were they there all this time? And are only visible now?_

Too many questions kept rising and he still didn't find the answer to the one posed in the beginning of all this.

Merlin sighed.

He needed to figure this out. He wanted to hide in the library or perhaps between Gaius's old tomes and try and solve this ever growing problem.

He recalled a spell with similar name, but that was troll magic and he doubted the old physician messed anything up. But still something was amiss and he couldn't shake the feeling he was missing something, something he left out, something very important.

Just then, around the second corridor he was walking across he saw the all too familiar gray glimmer run around and vanish at the corner.

_Oh, no you don't. Not this time._ – he thought to himself and took a sudden left turn down the stairs instead, figuring a detour won't harm anyone. He was almost out of the stairway when several things happened at once.

First, Merlin could have sworn, he heard a sulky growl, then his feet became numb to a point he felt his ankle was someone else's or just plainly sinking into the stairs, which was rather impossible seeing how the stairs were solid stone, and third, he felt a shove around his waist, and from there on the basket flew forth rolling down the stairs, followed by Merlin himself in a similar but more painful manner.

He tried to cover his head and eventually bumped into and landed on something softer and warmer then the expected ground. Something sharply met the back of his head and everything went dark.

.*.

He let out a groan as someone was gently slapping his face, but he felt too horrible of it; it felt like his mere feelings were hurt by it; lucky once he reacted the slapping stopped. He shifted and reached to locate where the pain was coming from, his hand wandering to the back of his head and feeling a slight bump that seemed a little damp. He opened his eyes but had to wait till the blurriness went away and let the figure in front of him come into focus. Obert was scrutinizing him.

"I..tripped.. on something.." – Merlin said and sat up with a bit of help. Instantly nausea rose in his body and he fought to push it aside taking a few deep breaths. That hit couldn't have been so hard..

He looked up at the stairs that were very much empty and lacking anything he could've actually tripped over on. _Alright, I can't explain that_. – Merlin thought giving up on the idea.

The boy put his hand on his shoulder and looked at him.

"Yes.. I feel better." – and Merlin wondered how he knew the unspoken question.

The boy nodded with a smile, but still looking concerned helped him to his feet.

The hallway was now occupied by their belongings. Obert's scrolls and small wooden box and Merlins basket with the betony half spilled.

The manservant rubbed the back of his head, and would feel small jolts of pain when touching it. The redhead looked at him apologetically motioning to the wooden box as he picked it up.

"Ah.. so that's what was so hard.." – he mumbled – "No worries, a poultice from Gaius should fix it." - Then slowly started to gather the herbs as Obert gathered the scrolls.

Merlin couldn't help, but get a glimpse of a parchment and found it was full of runes. He looked around the corridor to make sure they were alone.

"You know.. This isn't safe. You could get in serious trouble if anyone is to see you with these.." – he said keeping his voice to a low tone. Obert picked his head up but his expression didn't tell him anything so Merlin continued. - "I'm sure you know, magic is banned in Camelot. You could get killed if caught with these." – he said quietly and watched as the other servants' brows raised.

"Yes. Trust me." – the manservant said picking up a scroll. He wasn't all that surprised when he felt a slight buzzing once he touched the parchment. _These were indeed inked with magic._ He handed it to the boy and helped gather the remainder ones, to tuck them away before anyone would come across that hallway. Herbs wouldn't cause commotion, scrolls with runes certainly would.

The ginger boy nodded as thanks and hurried to place them back in the wooden box.

Merlin fought with the thought for a while then carefully added. - "Its very dangerous. You should let your master know too, as well as to consider his invitation.."

"_What_ in the world happened here?!" – an all too familiar voice cut in before Merlin could finish, startling them both and once looking up at the man speaking, the manservant again, quickly lowered his head, but then sprung to his feet.

"I am _so_ sorry, my lord! I am just so clumsy this morning, I tripped and fell down the stairs, knocking into a guest." - It took him all his effort to look into Agravaine's yellow-eyed gargoyle face and not make a motion of it, but he had to be convincing and most of all, had to tie the lord's attention down to give enough time for Obert to gather all the parchments.

Agravaine tried to peer around the manservant, but Merlin stood in front of him and prevented it each time the man tried to look left or right, much to the dark haired man's annoyance.

"Anything I could help you with, my lord?" – he asked with all the willingness he could muster.

"No!" – came the grouchy reply and eventually the lord just brushed him aside, mumbling something that sounded very much like _"idiot"_ and walked passed the boys, stepping on the betony along the way as he strode across the corridor, clearly not caring about parchments or herbs or clumsy dumb servants, when he so obviously had something else on his mind. - _Probably gargoyles. – _Merlin thought with an annoyed sniff, but he was glad the scrolls weren't scattered anymore on the floor. He started to pick the herbs up when he saw movement from the corner of his eye, as if something ran across the hallway near them; looking up he felt pain from the sudden movement, and he pressed his hand against his nape again with a hiss; but of course he learnt there was nothing there besides plants, so he just continued. Obert stepped close to help him once he finished securing the wooden box's small lock.

Then Merlin got an idea.

"Obert..?"

The boy looked up from a handful of betony.

"Listen.. I need to carry some firewood to Lady Lictina's chambers. Could you.. help me? If you have nothing else to do.."

Nod again.

"Thanks.." – he smiled, feeling incredibly relieved.

There was something about the two men from Crowholdt, he couldn't quite put his finger on. They knew something; he wasn't sure what it was, but they knew and if Gaius was right they were even aware about Merlin, and he couldn't deny the fact that he felt this strange sense of calmness whenever he was around them.

And they did come from Crowholdt. Knowing about his magic or not, they were obviously no enemies of magic users._ - Or so Merlin thought._

.*.

Merlin found himself cursing inwardly at the Lady Lictina for wanting a fire lit in that very time of the day. The chores for Arthur could wait and the young warlock wanted to use the little free time to do some research about the spell. Instead he found himself merely taking the herbs back to the physician's chamber and laying them out, then heading towards the guestroom's wing.

However he was grateful the other servant was with him. He felt suspicious about Lady Lictina, and some ridiculous scandal with a guest was the last thing he needed now; he was nervous none the less.

The two servants were walking down the hallway carrying a heavy basket of firewood between them when Merlin heard it.

It was a sort of rustling and muffed whimpers, and for a second the manservant thought one of the younger servant boys dropped something again and was now crying about it, but as he saw the ginger boy didn't show any reaction to it, Merlin felt a pang of fear, that once again, it's something else. And he was becoming more convinced of it once he heard the rattling of metal against stone.

He didn't need to wait long; as soon as they took another turn, he spotted something on the ground in the distance that he was pretty sure wasn't supposed to be there.

From the distance it seemed like a pile of dirty rags that was alive somehow, yet not; but getting closer and closer to it, Merlin felt dread creeping up on him.

The pile turned out to be a crouched figure, whimpering and rocking himself; moving and quietly clattering the rusty chains next to him, that were secured to the wall on one end, and – no doubt – to him, at the other.

He looked to be skin and bones; covered with dirt and wounds; scorch-marks and grime; and Merlin figured, had he been a real person he would reek two hallways length, but he didn't. There was no smell, just the sounds and the horrible sight. He just whimpered and cried quietly and as closer they got the more and more the apparition revealed itself.

_"..hungry.. so.. so very hungry…" – he croaked with a hoarse voice trailing off to a pitiful whimper… - "hungry …hungry….. so very hungry…. Cant you see?... see?...see?..."_

Merlin stared ahead with dread. They were walking right towards _him._

He looked at Obert suddenly, but the boys' featured were calm and completely oblivious to the horrible sight; however the warlocks distress didn't elude him, looking over at the dark haired young man his raised eyebrows slowly became furrowed as he observed him.

_"..cant you see? cant you see? cant you see?...seeee….hungryyyyy….." – the chained man was getting louder in his cries, slightly lifting his head, his face however still unseen from the few flocks of messy hair, that looked like dirty hay stuck on his bloodied and bruised scalp._

_"..i'm hungry.." – he sobbed and rocked himself more._

Merlin swallowed hard. He couldn't think of any excuse not to go in that direction, and he couldn't very well tell Obert to just go the other way.

By this time, the ginger boy was staring at him with concern, having noticed as Merlin suddenly seemed to be very pale, accentuating the dark circles under his eyes, while his clammy skin gave a very sickly look to the young man.

Obert stopped all of a sudden and Merlin nearly fell back from the unexpected tug at the basket.

_" …so… so hungry…. Soooooo… "_

The warlock shivered. He knew he has to compose himself if he wants the boys' suspicion to pass.

Obert raised his eyebrows.

Merlin felt tempted to just drop everything and run for it.

"Little headache.." – he said barely whispering and forced a little smile.

_"Hungry.. hungry .. hungrrryy…" _

For an odd second he feared the chained man will hear him. He knew it seemed stupid to think that, but what could he to say? There was a rattling rag of a dirty ghost chained to the wall in the hallway and none cared to notice. – He didn't even know why _he_ had to..

_" ..nnnnnn…. so hungry… cant you see…?..." - he squeaked continuously._

Obert understood. Gave an apologetic smile again, thinking of the wooden box earlier and they continued walking.

The manservant just wanted to get away.

They were nearing the apparitions spot and Merlin again stepped a little closer to the other young man and a little further from the wall. His feet felt heavy, his stomach was beyond anything nauseous he ever felt and his whole being just felt like backing away and backing right out of his body.

_".. so hungry…."_ – the apparition lifted his head and gave Merlin a stare he could not look away from, even tough the old man didn't actually have eyes on his face, rather just dark wide holes with more blood smudges around them – _"I'm hungry… I'm.. so so.. so very hungry" - _and then his voice got louder_ - "… Cant you see?.. Cant you?! IM HUNGRY!" – and louder - "CANT YOU SEE? SEE? SEE? HOW HUNGRY I AM?! …" _- and louder as he spoke in the warlocks' direction and Merlin shook and felt he will either pass out or just die on the spot cos of the dread.

Then the chained man's face twisted into a toothless morbid smile and laughed with a sound of shrieks and rusty hinges of old gates and his head twisted around in an abnormal way and as he sat he slammed himself against the wall and climbed right up pulling after him the chains, that rattled on for a while as he disappeared into the darkness above.

Merlin heard wood falling and rolling on the floor and he found himself on the ground.

.*.

Orrick was staring out the window, leaning casually at the wall with arms halfway crossed, while eating an apple.

He adored apples. The ones that grew in Crowholdt were just too small for his liking, but being it a mountain area, they just didn't grow big. He made up his mind to bring a whole sack home when they would travel back. - _ Obert can roll his eyes all he wants._ - The older man was determined.

Apples were always something special.

There were apple trees where he grew up as well, and despite the bad memories of the fire, hunt and slaughter that smudged his childhood, and that particular image, the fruit never had its value dimmed for him. It was something precious; one of few things he could remember from his childhood, and he always thought of the old trees and the large baskets between them, how the sunlight played between the leaves, how the air was filled with the fresh green scent, sunshine and sound of laughter. He could still see the mightiness of the apple trees, despite the burning image of them still vivid in his mind; and he could still sense the leaves and sweetness of the fruits, even if he also felt the smoke and scent of burning flesh at one point. He held onto those spotless memories; he held onto the love of apples, for they meant more to him then one could imagine. They were the anchor of all that he had left from that time.

The loud click of the door to their chambers stirred him from his thoughts. He turned his head to see the young man rush inside, with grime on his face, seemingly out of breath and noticed immediately that something was wrong.

"What happened?" – his face became stern. – "Why are you so dirty?"

_Frantic hand signals._

"And?" – he swallowed the bite hard, letting his arms drop and turned to face the younger one.

Obert made signals again and the older ginger made a shocked face. The signals were short and to the point:

_"I think he is seeing things."_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Update galore! **_**Yes, this story gets an update as well, along with some of my other fics~**

**So. I hate fillers. Did I mention I hate fillers? *sighs* I've been over-and-over-editing this chapter for the Nth time, I think it's 'okay' to post already - though I do admit at one point I was so unhappy with this certain part that I was ready and willing to just throw Lady Lictina out the damn window. LOL.  
****Nah.. seriously.. Sorry it took so long to get around to this one, some parts proved a bit difficult to tackle. Nonetheless, hope you like it :) Enjoy and let me know what you think~!**

**.*.**

_He heard the whispers first. They were all around. They were loud, yet silent. Secretive, yet intrusive, swarming around his mind, teasing but still too out of reach for him to get a clear grasp of the words. They sounded mocking; they sounded like they were talking about him; they made him feel exposed and unsafe; yet he had no clue what they were talking about, nor where they were coming from. He heard the splashing of water getting louder and louder, but the whispers were still there. He wanted to call out to ask them, to shout, demand answers, he was about to, but then again they were mere whispers; and they all slowly started to fade. _

"Ugh.."

_Come on, Merlin. You need to come up with an excuse. Again. And it better be a good one.. – _the young warlock mussed semi-awake, as sounds and scents of his environment started to leak into his consciousness; _drop by drop;_ while the whispers got pushed into the background.

He was aware he was on the ground; aware of the low pounding headache, the torturous nausea and the burning pain in his chest as every breath felt like fire and he also was very much aware that Obert was next to him and that the servant was pretty worried.

Merlin wanted to go back to being unaware of the world, but that wasn't an option, so he figured he had to make up a story; a believable one at that, since it was the second time the Crowholdtian picked him up off the floor in a very short time. - The boy was _mute_, not _stupid_. - Anyone would suspect something was up if they saw the manservant lately was spending more time laying on the ground then standing up.

"I think.." he mumbled once he opened his eyes and they managed to focus on the ginger lad, "I think I'll need a potion or two along with that poultice.." Merlin smiled sheepishly.

Obert helped him sit up but didn't let him get to his feet just yet, keeping grip on his shoulders, and somehow Merlin couldn't find the strength in him yet to oppose said hands.

"I'm alright." Merlin said as convincingly as he could, saying it as much to the boy as to himself. "Just my head.. got dizzy all of a sudden." he said motioning to the back of his head, feeling rather embarrassed and the look on the other servant's face led him to think he feels partially guilty for it, because of the scrolls and the box. Merlin decided he's just fine with the boy thinking that; _less excuses to make._

"Let's get that fire lit." he said with new resolve, when his glance fell on a piece of wood next to him. He staggered to his feet, stealing a glance around for anything _unusual_, all the while Obert kept a watch on him.

_Damned be that wench. _The sooner they make that fireplace crack with flames the sooner he can get on to find a way out of this mess. He was really getting fed up with these guests and ghost and chores and just wanted to be done with it. _Done with it!_

_Damned be Arthur too_ for practically lending his manservant to least half the guests when they arrived. It was enough to have to run around after the soon-to-be-king and Gaius, now he had these bloody nobles wanting things; _didn't they have servants of their own?!_

The warlock felt getting furious while picking up the firewood, and gave a glance towards Obert, who was probably the only exception of guests he momentarily wasn't furious at. He felt grateful for his help.

Merlin picked his head up to something moving, not surprised that whatever moved in the corner of his eye wasn't actually there. The ginger boy looked at him with a raised eyebrow, and the manservant just smiled at him shaking his head slightly, picking up another batch of wood, noting to himself that head shaking is not a comfortable way to communicate right now.

He wondered if he could be more open with the Crowholdt man, although a little voice in the back of his mind kept telling him to be careful, - but with his experience in Camelot so far, it had always told him to be careful – yet he couldn't deny that he felt a certain trust towards him, a certain familiarity he couldn't explain.. - Merlin brushed it off thinking he's becoming desperate in his condition.

He did, however make up his mind to talk to Arthur about these extra chores and he felt himself getting worked up again. His anger gave him new strength.

They finished gathering up the spilled firewood and were on their way once again. Their destination was already in eye sight when a servant girl turned onto their corridor from a side-staircase and headed in their direction. She kept her head bowed to the sheets she was carrying and once passing the lads, Merlin spotted she was crying; cheek glistering from tears, her skin red from the wails, eyes shut tight; mouth agape, in a horrible cry yet there was no sound. The manservant picked his head up and turned after her as she passed them by.

"Mary!"

"Yes, Merlin?" The girl turned around with a kind smile on her lips. Her cheeks were fair, her green eyes shining. – No trace of tears, no trace of wails.

"Are you alright?" he asked baffled.

"Yes. Why?" she looked at him with furrowed brows.

"Just.. seemed you were upset."

She looked even more confused.

"No, I'm well.."

"Good." Merlin smiled. "Probably the play of the light then." He added as excuse then gave a nod and moved to continue on their way, almost dragging the Crowholdtian after him and ignoring the puzzled look on Mary's face; all the while cursing inwardly at the spell tricking him again, and also trying to ignore Obert's glances that now felt were burning his cheek. Seems Agravaine wasn't the only one wearing a 'different face'.

He should be more careful, he reminded himself. Being with Obert, he again figured he should look if the other servant reacts to something before he goes around asking questions then ending up looking like an awkward idiot.

They reached the guest chamber they were looking for.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn't expecting to see the Lady Lictina in her nightgown to greet them.

A quick glance and Merlin noted with slight satisfaction that the lady was just as irked as he was, but while he was annoyed over the extra pointless chore, the lady was obviously upset about the presence of the other servant boy, and judging from her scanty wears she can't have been all that cold to request the fire to be lit in her chambers. _Oh no_, she definitely had other plans and the firewood was an obvious and see-through excuse, and it drove Merlin up the walls how he's wasting his precious time with such things, but alas, orders were orders, and as a servant of Camelot, he had to obey.

Obert didn't seem to give much attention to her, he was more preoccupied with something on the table near the fireplace, and once Merlin saw his expression he curiously followed his gaze, noticing a very small cauldron emanating a slight steam and some cups next to it. He had a bad feeling about it and wondered if the boy knows what it is, but looking at his face it showed he knew exactly what it was. – _He is from Crowholdt, of course he knows!_

He quickly realized the lady wanted a little "fun" and was determined to get it, even if it would require some potions to get the '_right mood'_ started. Merlin shivered at the thought and couldn't help but wonder if the lady had done this before, to be so confident about turning to the use of such practices, right in the middle of Camelot. He felt his ears burning for some reason, so he rather just hurried to the fireplace, and once they sat the basket down, he made himself busy.

"I would very much like some fruit. You go get me some, boy." The lady motioned towards Obert.

_Clever. _Merlin thought.

"He.. doesn't know where the kitchens are. He's.. not from around here.." Merlin cut in. It was pathetic. Yes. But he just didn't want to be left alone with the noble woman. If anything was to happen, it would be against his will of course or it would be his word against that of a noble.. so, whatever happens he would end up regretting it. –_ for a second he wondered why he was so worried about it, when he could just use magic._

The lady's lips squeezed into a thin line. Merlin found he probably would've found her annoyance amusing if he wouldn't be dancing on such thin ice. The lady had a reputation for tantrums, not just dressing up her maid. He had his share of visiting lords and Arthur "lending" him to them. - That sometimes ended up in knife throwing practice, where he was the target to avoid; or other misfortunate events and abuses, but a _woman_ was a different matter. A whole different one. If he got in trouble Arthur would pull him out of it; but he had no idea what the prince could do if the noble woman would go around accusing him of various attacks and attempts; and he had no doubt the Lady Lictina would use any means to protect herself and her reputation, if her plan was to go awry or she wouldn't get what she wants.

Just then Obert put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and motioned that he does know the way to the kitchens and he should just stay put. - _No! _Merlin panicked and cursed his helpfulness, for it was helping everything but him!

The raven-haired figured it was now or never, and gave the boy a glare and a glance towards the cauldron then a look as pleading as he could muster and prayed he will understand that Merlin doesn't want to be left alone with the woman and her potion. And it seemed Obert understood – _amazing how he always understood. _ – as he knelt back down next to the basket.

"I'll get the fruits for you my lady. We'll just get this fire started up real quick," he said and turned towards the fireplace again, with the wood, but then he froze and glared at it with terror.

"No need to hurry, I suppose" the lady purred standing just behind him and Merlin bit his lip.

Obert's watchful eyes didn't miss the dread and surprise on this paled face and he too looked at the pile of ashes and some leftover wood that looked a lot like, well, just wood. For Merlin, however, they looked like bones and skulls of half burnt half rotten flesh and it was only after a rub of his eyes and a few blinks that his sight revealed what was really in front of him.

_Damn it all_, he was cornered. He thought for a second to just go along with it, then use a sleeping spell and be done with the whole mess, but then shook his head. That cant be! Merlin just didn't want to be at her whim, not even a short while; to be her plaything; a rather the indecent kind too. And with the ginger servant there he wasn't even sure about casting spells anymore. Maybe he should have let him go to the kitchen to pick up fruits indeed.

Obert figured something was wrong; and for fear of Merlin passing out again or.. whatever that was about to happen, he quickly put one and one together - the cauldron, Merlin and the lady's scanty wear – it gave him a pretty good idea what was at stake, so he started to fill the fireplace with wood with hurry it even surprised the warlock; Merlin didn't stop to think what's the reason for his rush, he took the lighter rocks out to get a the fire started, but then to his surprise a flame started dancing under the firewood and he was pretty sure he hadn't got to even try to start the fire.

_Nah.. must be his mind playing tricks on him again_, but the heat felt real; and the smell felt real; then realizing how the flame could have appeared, if he himself didn't do anything, he was about to turn to the ginger boy to give him a very questioning look, however the next moment something gave a huge _PHOOF_ and he got thrown back in a sudden burst as ashes and flaming wood flew out of the hearth.

Merlin heard the lady shriek and stumble, but couldn't see a thing from the ash and smoke. He also heard something crash and topple and something splash, followed by another yelp of the woman, and the ripping of fabric; and he barely opened his eyes, painfully gasping for air, when he saw an all too familiar grayish glimmer in the corner of his sight and he got about halfway through thinking that's the last thing he needs right now, when he really started fighting for air; his throat feeling torn and burning as if he would've swallowed the hearth. He found himself falling onto his side and painful coughs ripped his throat. His hand landed on something liquid and suddenly got flooded with the smell of strawberries and a green field of flowers, and in the same time his throat seemed to ease up, letting air pass a little better. Just then he spotted Obert sitting on the ground next to the table, where he obviously had landed from the blow, and Merlin saw through his tears how the cauldron had tipped over and whatever was in it came washing down on the ginger boy's head, making his face turn into a mess of wet ashes. The boy was soundlessly gasping from surprise of the unexpected shower, but eyes fixed somewhere above the warlock and a very much worried look on his face.

The room swam in the scent, almost suffocating and it got the warlock thinking of things, - _quite the indecent things - _he was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to be thinking about at that moment in time, in their given situation. _He thought of Freya and how her dress slipped off her shoulder.._

He tried to shake the image._ It can't be real._ - More so as the smell of something burning seemed to be more real, and once he pushed himself up enough, he saw the curtain of the bed burning ever higher, probably from a piece of firewood that flew out. _But just what had happened?_

The lady kept screaming at the sight; and Merlin fought for air, the sides of his vision becoming a blur as he pushed himself further to head towards the curtains. Obert tried to stagger up from the slippery ground to do the same. Eventually Merlin ripped the curtains off and along with the ginger servant they threaded on it until the flames were put out.

He was still coughing and felt getting weaker, but he noted with relief that the doors swung open as more servants, alarmed by the sounds coming from the room had entered to see what was going on..

**_"The… t.. f…irel..fire… pal.. place… ! Fire..plac..e!"_**Merlincoughed doubling over and falling to his knees in his fit of coughing and his head swam and he felt his tears spill, his throat and chest was just hurting so much, he wouldn't have minded if he just passed out, as embarrassing as that might have been to do in front of so many people. _Least the pain would stop._

Two servants rushed to the hearth to check it and put the remains of the fire out, while he felt someone grab his arm and pull him up, and another tried to help the lady to her feet. Merlin recognizing her figure to be the Lady's personal maid and she had a bewildered look upon her face, glancing at Merlin and the damage and her panicked and very much messy mistress.

Merlin noticed the ginger boy staring at the Lady Lictina and he couldn't help but wonder if the young man actually swallowed any of the liquid as it came pouring down his head.

_"**OUT! OUT! GET OUT!**"_ the woman shrieked in such a high pitched voice, the manservant thought it wasn't actually humanly possible, but he didn't need to be told twice, full aware of the fact that it's both their heads on the line, so he gripped Obert's arm and started to drag him outside, though at first the boy was a little reluctant to follow him.

"You… _incompetent fools!_" They heard her voice thundering, but by that time they were outside the guest chamber and Merlin was determined to get as far as possible from the_ 'scene of the crime'._ He only started to stumble around the second corridor, and as the fright dimmed a little, it let his mind remember the aches in his body. He had to stop and catch his breath, but didn't loosen his grip on the Crowholdtian's arm. He was going to get him to the physician's chamber and.. and.. well, he'll figure it out when they actually get there. For now he had no idea what to give the boy against a love potion.

Obert was looking at him and didn't move. Merlin only spared him a glance, but then he noticed something in his eyes that made him look twice. The boy was smiling at him and slowly took his arm out of his grasp, and he had the most assuring look on him.

"You.. are you alright?" Merlin asked cautiously.

The young man smiled and put his hand on his shoulder then motioned to his nose with an index finger and winked.

"Mischief?" _How the hell did he understand? Merlin wondered once again._

He smiled.

"You weren't really under the effect of that potion, were you?" And the wide smile said it all.

The manservant scoffed. "_You_ lit the fire.." He said in a shushed tone, knowing he doesn't really need to ask more. It somehow seemed self-understood, that someone from Crowholdt should posses magic, but before waiting for confirmation he picked his head up towards the hallway, yet again, fully empty to the ginger servant's eyes, but making Merlin swallow nervously and looking at the ground.

"I should go get that poultice.." The warlock smiled sheepishly and nodded. "I'll be fine" he added and before the servant could protest or offer his help, he headed off on the corridor, soon turning around the corner.

Obert looked after him with concern, then made a run towards Orrick. He didn't know; he didn't see, for it was only for Merlin's eyes, but there was something there, and he dreaded it could make them lose everything.

.

Merlin wasn't heading towards the physician's chamber. Despite every inch of his body demanding it, he was heading in the opposite direction. He wanted to get to the bottom of this. More so that the image he saw moments before leaving the confused Crowholdtian behind, was that of _his beloved Freya_..


End file.
